1 00:00:14,024 --> 00:00:15,894 - Imagine being gay. 2 00:00:18,930 --> 00:00:20,798 Now imagine realizing it. 3 00:00:23,467 --> 00:00:27,404 Maybe you think of this, or this, 4 00:00:27,505 --> 00:00:30,040 but it wasn't quite so clear for me. 5 00:00:30,140 --> 00:00:33,043 This was my first clue that I might be different. 6 00:00:36,313 --> 00:00:38,750 But this probably sealed the deal 7 00:00:38,850 --> 00:00:40,852 for anyone who wasn't sure. 8 00:00:48,526 --> 00:00:49,928 - My parents weren't repressive 9 00:00:50,028 --> 00:00:51,696 or close-minded people. 10 00:00:51,796 --> 00:00:53,031 I mean, after all, 11 00:00:53,130 --> 00:00:55,499 this was my Halloween costume when I was eight, 12 00:00:58,435 --> 00:01:01,573 but I once heard a neighbor boy call me a Fag. 13 00:01:01,673 --> 00:01:02,941 It made my mom cry. 14 00:01:03,041 --> 00:01:04,642 I didn't really know what that meant, 15 00:01:04,742 --> 00:01:05,944 but she sure did. 16 00:01:06,044 --> 00:01:07,946 And I understood that my mom loved me, 17 00:01:08,046 --> 00:01:10,848 and that loving someone is complicated. 18 00:01:10,949 --> 00:01:15,085 On my ninth birthday, my parents gave me my first camera. 19 00:01:15,185 --> 00:01:17,889 That day I took a photo of my best friend, Sarah, 20 00:01:17,989 --> 00:01:22,225 this man dressed up as a pirate, and my parents, kissing. 21 00:01:23,795 --> 00:01:27,497 Three weeks later, my dad died in a car crash. 22 00:01:32,770 --> 00:01:34,137 At the funeral, 23 00:01:34,237 --> 00:01:36,774 I took a photo of every single flower arrangement, 24 00:01:38,543 --> 00:01:41,311 and then I took a portrait of every guest. 25 00:01:41,411 --> 00:01:43,113 My mom said this is when she knew 26 00:01:43,213 --> 00:01:45,148 I was going to be a photographer. 27 00:01:46,684 --> 00:01:49,453 About the time my family fell apart, 28 00:01:49,554 --> 00:01:51,956 another family showed up on TV, 29 00:01:52,056 --> 00:01:54,458 and there was no death, no sadness. 30 00:01:54,559 --> 00:01:55,860 - Well, I never. 31 00:01:57,327 --> 00:01:59,262 - Oscar was a sensation. 32 00:01:59,363 --> 00:02:01,666 He was a foster kid who was discovered 33 00:02:01,766 --> 00:02:03,601 at just the right time. 34 00:02:03,701 --> 00:02:04,502 For 10 whole years, 35 00:02:04,602 --> 00:02:08,072 he delighted and distracted the country. 36 00:02:08,171 --> 00:02:10,908 Then he lost everything. 37 00:02:11,009 --> 00:02:12,376 After being forced off the show, 38 00:02:12,476 --> 00:02:14,879 Oscar tried a little bit of everything. 39 00:02:14,979 --> 00:02:16,446 Nothing seemed to stick. 40 00:02:16,547 --> 00:02:17,949 Years later, 41 00:02:18,049 --> 00:02:21,052 I was shooting this wedding when a bridesmaid just fainted 42 00:02:21,184 --> 00:02:22,787 in the middle of the ceremony. 43 00:02:22,887 --> 00:02:24,989 And there was Oscar. 44 00:02:25,089 --> 00:02:26,824 I remember him saying, "Get some water," 45 00:02:26,924 --> 00:02:30,795 but it also might have been, "What do you think?" 46 00:02:30,895 --> 00:02:33,463 Or even "She's wasted." 47 00:02:34,932 --> 00:02:36,901 This is the first photo I ever took of him. 48 00:02:38,136 --> 00:02:41,039 Oscar was unlike anyone I had ever met. 49 00:02:41,139 --> 00:02:43,508 Sexy, charming, 50 00:02:43,608 --> 00:02:47,045 surprising, and always so sure. 51 00:02:47,145 --> 00:02:49,714 He asked me to marry him in the parking lot 52 00:02:49,814 --> 00:02:51,348 of a grocery store. 53 00:02:51,448 --> 00:02:54,018 He had no ring, no plan. 54 00:02:54,118 --> 00:02:55,820 He said he looked at me and just knew. 55 00:02:56,921 --> 00:02:58,156 We were married less than a year 56 00:02:58,255 --> 00:03:01,391 when Oscar thought it was time to grow our family. 57 00:03:01,491 --> 00:03:03,594 - Should we have kids? 58 00:03:03,695 --> 00:03:04,729 - Scientists now say that some effects 59 00:03:04,829 --> 00:03:06,396 of climate change may be irreversible. 60 00:03:06,496 --> 00:03:08,066 - Should we have kids? 61 00:03:08,166 --> 00:03:09,100 - What? 62 00:03:09,199 --> 00:03:10,768 - Should we have kids? 63 00:03:10,868 --> 00:03:12,537 - I don't think we can make them like this. 64 00:03:14,639 --> 00:03:16,507 For a long time, I wasn't sure. 65 00:03:16,607 --> 00:03:19,877 Oscar had never forgotten his years in foster care. 66 00:03:19,977 --> 00:03:22,780 So as usual, Oscar got his way, 67 00:03:22,880 --> 00:03:25,315 and we welcomed a foster child into our home. 68 00:03:27,151 --> 00:03:28,586 We had one year with Arthur, 69 00:03:29,887 --> 00:03:31,254 one birthday, 70 00:03:31,354 --> 00:03:32,824 one perfect summer, 71 00:03:34,158 --> 00:03:35,392 one Christmas, 72 00:03:37,227 --> 00:03:37,862 and one goodbye. 73 00:04:12,429 --> 00:04:13,664 - Hi, Mr. Reid. 74 00:04:13,765 --> 00:04:15,432 This is Laura Walker, your favorite case worker. 75 00:04:15,533 --> 00:04:18,836 I was just calling to confirm that today was still good 76 00:04:18,936 --> 00:04:20,138 for you to meet. 77 00:04:20,238 --> 00:04:24,341 Also, Arthur's mother said that he left a few things behind 78 00:04:24,441 --> 00:04:27,945 and I said I would grab them, specifically a green hat. 79 00:04:28,045 --> 00:04:31,048 So anyway, call me if you need to change our appointment. 80 00:04:41,491 --> 00:04:42,827 - So will Oscar be joining us? 81 00:04:43,761 --> 00:04:45,930 - No. He's filming in Michigan. 82 00:04:47,064 --> 00:04:48,032 It's just me today. 83 00:04:48,132 --> 00:04:49,567 - Oh, okay. 84 00:04:49,667 --> 00:04:52,503 So we schedule these exit meetings to give foster parents 85 00:04:52,603 --> 00:04:54,939 a chance to talk about, you know, 86 00:04:55,039 --> 00:04:56,674 whatever it is you're feeling. 87 00:04:56,774 --> 00:04:58,042 - Okay. 88 00:04:58,142 --> 00:05:00,011 - And I know at the end, things happen really quickly, 89 00:05:00,111 --> 00:05:04,447 so it is completely normal if you feel angry or sad. 90 00:05:07,919 --> 00:05:08,986 Okay. 91 00:05:09,086 --> 00:05:11,289 Just one more little thing before I can head out. 92 00:05:11,388 --> 00:05:13,791 They make me give this very brief survey 93 00:05:13,891 --> 00:05:16,459 about your experience, if you don't mind. 94 00:05:16,561 --> 00:05:17,494 - Okay. 95 00:05:17,595 --> 00:05:18,863 - Oh, Jesus, I'm so sorry. 96 00:05:20,198 --> 00:05:21,431 Okay. 97 00:05:21,532 --> 00:05:23,333 The County Department of Child and Family Services 98 00:05:23,433 --> 00:05:26,704 facilitated a positive experience as a caregiver, 99 00:05:26,804 --> 00:05:31,108 and then your options are yes, no, or no response. 100 00:05:31,209 --> 00:05:31,976 - It was terrific. 101 00:05:33,277 --> 00:05:34,846 - Sorry. Is that, is that a yes or no? 102 00:05:36,914 --> 00:05:37,648 - Yes. 103 00:05:37,748 --> 00:05:38,249 - Yes. Okay. 104 00:05:38,348 --> 00:05:39,884 In the future, 105 00:05:39,984 --> 00:05:41,418 I would consider participating as a caregiver again. 106 00:05:41,519 --> 00:05:43,855 Yes, no, or no response. 107 00:05:45,256 --> 00:05:46,090 - Okay. 108 00:05:47,357 --> 00:05:48,226 - I'm just gonna leave this here. 109 00:05:48,326 --> 00:05:49,359 - No. 110 00:05:50,194 --> 00:05:51,929 Yeah, it's a big no. 111 00:05:52,029 --> 00:05:53,430 - Okay. 112 00:05:53,531 --> 00:05:54,899 Hey, Thomas, why don't you just finish this when you, 113 00:05:54,999 --> 00:05:55,800 you get a chance? 114 00:05:55,900 --> 00:05:56,901 - Yeah. Great. 115 00:05:57,001 --> 00:05:58,236 - Thank you so much for letting me stop by 116 00:05:58,336 --> 00:05:59,837 and grab Arthur's things. 117 00:06:01,873 --> 00:06:05,375 Okay. So both of these, bag, a lot of stuff. 118 00:06:05,475 --> 00:06:06,177 - Can I help you with this? 119 00:06:06,277 --> 00:06:07,444 - No I'm fine, I got it. 120 00:06:07,545 --> 00:06:10,014 - You sure? - Yeah, I've totally got it. 121 00:06:23,694 --> 00:06:24,494 - Ow! 122 00:06:26,097 --> 00:06:26,831 - Are you okay? 123 00:06:26,931 --> 00:06:27,798 - How bad is it? 124 00:06:27,899 --> 00:06:31,335 - Ugh, oh my God. - Oh my God, what? 125 00:06:31,434 --> 00:06:32,270 - Don't look, stop! 126 00:06:32,370 --> 00:06:33,137 Hey, you don't want to look. 127 00:06:33,237 --> 00:06:34,238 - Is it broken? - Yeah. 128 00:06:34,338 --> 00:06:37,108 - Is it broken? - Yeah, it's broke- 129 00:06:38,276 --> 00:06:40,410 - Why do you keep doing that? 130 00:06:52,256 --> 00:06:52,890 Hi. 131 00:06:54,592 --> 00:06:55,726 - You feeling okay? 132 00:06:56,894 --> 00:06:59,462 - Would it be impolite to say no? 133 00:06:59,563 --> 00:07:02,432 - I mean, I did see your bone. 134 00:07:02,533 --> 00:07:04,068 - Oh my God. 135 00:07:04,168 --> 00:07:05,403 This is the most ridiculous thing 136 00:07:05,503 --> 00:07:07,405 that's ever happened to me. 137 00:07:07,505 --> 00:07:09,774 And I once worked at a water park in Florida. 138 00:07:11,742 --> 00:07:13,077 - The doctor said you were lucky 139 00:07:13,177 --> 00:07:14,345 you didn't get a concussion. 140 00:07:14,444 --> 00:07:16,847 So there's that. 141 00:07:16,948 --> 00:07:18,582 - At least a concussion might have made me 142 00:07:18,683 --> 00:07:21,986 forget some of the humiliation of tumbling. 143 00:07:23,154 --> 00:07:24,355 - It's fine. 144 00:07:24,454 --> 00:07:26,424 - My God, you're so kind for staying here. 145 00:07:26,524 --> 00:07:27,525 Thank you. 146 00:07:29,694 --> 00:07:30,828 - You're welcome. 147 00:07:33,864 --> 00:07:34,665 Okay. 148 00:07:35,733 --> 00:07:37,134 Well, this has been fun, 149 00:07:38,468 --> 00:07:40,271 and equally scarring. 150 00:07:40,371 --> 00:07:43,007 - Actually, would you mind helping me with one more thing? 151 00:08:05,363 --> 00:08:06,230 - Hey, girl. 152 00:08:28,152 --> 00:08:32,156 Arthur Christopher Ramos was born on May 21st, 2014 153 00:08:33,457 --> 00:08:36,994 at 8:24 AM in Los Angeles, California. 154 00:08:37,094 --> 00:08:37,862 It was a Wednesday. 155 00:08:39,030 --> 00:08:41,632 These are the photos I took that day on my phone. 156 00:08:45,903 --> 00:08:47,905 Moments before I took that photo of Oscar, 157 00:08:48,005 --> 00:08:50,808 he was singing "Moon River" because he knows 158 00:08:50,908 --> 00:08:52,810 it always makes me cry. 159 00:08:52,910 --> 00:08:54,945 He was smiling because he succeeded. 160 00:08:56,113 --> 00:08:57,181 Two years later, 161 00:08:57,281 --> 00:08:59,483 the building where Arthur and his parents lived 162 00:08:59,583 --> 00:09:00,851 caught on fire. 163 00:09:02,720 --> 00:09:04,255 Arthur and his mom were at the grocery store 164 00:09:04,355 --> 00:09:05,589 when it happened. 165 00:09:05,689 --> 00:09:06,891 They lost everything. 166 00:09:08,459 --> 00:09:09,627 This is everything. 167 00:09:11,262 --> 00:09:12,531 Three months later, 168 00:09:12,630 --> 00:09:14,832 Arthur's mom was arrested for shoplifting food. 169 00:09:14,932 --> 00:09:17,802 She was unemployed and living in a homeless shelter. 170 00:09:19,303 --> 00:09:20,704 The next day, 171 00:09:20,805 --> 00:09:22,840 Oscar and I received a call from Laura asking if we would 172 00:09:22,940 --> 00:09:24,975 take in a six year old boy named Arthur. 173 00:09:26,310 --> 00:09:30,981 This is what fear, wonder, and joy all look like. 174 00:09:31,849 --> 00:09:34,251 That night, as he fell asleep, 175 00:09:34,351 --> 00:09:36,320 Oscar sang "Moon River" to him. 176 00:09:39,690 --> 00:09:40,758 - And I cried. 177 00:09:51,503 --> 00:09:52,369 - Hey handsome. 178 00:09:52,470 --> 00:09:53,437 - Hey. 179 00:09:53,538 --> 00:09:54,839 - I thought you were working today. 180 00:09:54,939 --> 00:09:55,840 - I am. 181 00:09:55,940 --> 00:09:57,041 We've been shooting promos all morning, 182 00:09:57,141 --> 00:10:00,244 but they gotta get me a Speedo, so I'm waiting. 183 00:10:00,344 --> 00:10:01,846 - Oh. Yeah. - Anyway, what's up with you? 184 00:10:01,946 --> 00:10:04,615 - Nothing. Did you get my texts? 185 00:10:04,715 --> 00:10:07,384 - Yes. Crazy about Laura. 186 00:10:07,485 --> 00:10:08,953 Did you see the bone? 187 00:10:09,053 --> 00:10:10,354 - Yes. 188 00:10:10,454 --> 00:10:11,822 Oh my God. 189 00:10:11,922 --> 00:10:14,559 - And you saw a Ricky Martin poster inside her closet door. 190 00:10:14,658 --> 00:10:16,694 Does she know he's gay? 191 00:10:16,794 --> 00:10:18,095 - And maybe she has a thing for gay dads? 192 00:10:18,195 --> 00:10:18,896 I don't know. 193 00:10:19,730 --> 00:10:23,167 I, I read Arthur's file. 194 00:10:24,335 --> 00:10:25,402 - Of course you did. 195 00:10:25,504 --> 00:10:26,971 - I know, it was just there, 196 00:10:27,071 --> 00:10:31,909 and it had all these notes about us, like, 197 00:10:32,643 --> 00:10:35,246 warm, loving, capable. 198 00:10:35,346 --> 00:10:35,846 Capable. 199 00:10:35,946 --> 00:10:37,148 - What do you expect? 200 00:10:37,248 --> 00:10:39,416 They didn't take Arthur away because we were bad 201 00:10:39,518 --> 00:10:40,317 at being parents. 202 00:10:41,886 --> 00:10:44,421 They took him away because his mom deserved 203 00:10:44,523 --> 00:10:46,991 to raise him herself. 204 00:10:48,359 --> 00:10:49,894 - I get it. 205 00:10:49,994 --> 00:10:50,728 - What? 206 00:10:50,828 --> 00:10:52,930 Someone having a change of heart? 207 00:10:53,030 --> 00:10:53,797 - No, 208 00:10:55,733 --> 00:10:57,368 I'm serious. 209 00:10:57,468 --> 00:10:58,537 - I miss him too. 210 00:10:58,637 --> 00:11:00,905 But he is where he belongs. 211 00:11:03,707 --> 00:11:05,442 - Which one do you like? 212 00:11:05,544 --> 00:11:07,178 - Yeah, the camos are fine. 213 00:11:10,247 --> 00:11:11,448 - What's going on? 214 00:11:11,550 --> 00:11:14,752 - Thank God Speedos are back. We gotta do night shoots. 215 00:11:14,852 --> 00:11:16,020 I gotta go now, 216 00:11:16,120 --> 00:11:18,822 but I will say hi in the morning when I wake up. 217 00:11:18,923 --> 00:11:20,758 - Okay. I love you. 218 00:11:28,567 --> 00:11:29,833 So wait, wait, wait. 219 00:11:29,934 --> 00:11:31,835 You weren't in Palm Springs this weekend? 220 00:11:31,936 --> 00:11:34,405 - No. I don't get why this is so confusing for you. 221 00:11:34,506 --> 00:11:35,906 - I'm sorry. 222 00:11:36,006 --> 00:11:38,309 You posted four pictures and a story of you in Palm Springs. 223 00:11:38,409 --> 00:11:40,277 - Right. From last June. 224 00:11:40,377 --> 00:11:42,514 - But you didn't put that in the caption or, 225 00:11:42,614 --> 00:11:44,683 or use that hashtag TBT or whatever. 226 00:11:44,782 --> 00:11:45,816 - So? 227 00:11:45,916 --> 00:11:46,817 - Sounds like you should just take a break 228 00:11:46,917 --> 00:11:48,152 from social media. 229 00:11:48,252 --> 00:11:49,353 - Whatever. 230 00:11:49,453 --> 00:11:51,523 I got a whole bunch of messages from guys this weekend. 231 00:11:51,623 --> 00:11:54,158 - Was one of them your trainer, Kale? 232 00:11:54,258 --> 00:11:55,859 - No. 233 00:11:55,960 --> 00:11:59,430 Kale is in the Catskills for a naked men's yoga retreat. 234 00:11:59,531 --> 00:12:02,833 Listen, I got my limits and Naked Yoga is one of them. 235 00:12:02,933 --> 00:12:04,868 Just call it an orgy and move on. 236 00:12:06,571 --> 00:12:10,207 I'm actually going on a date with a guy who messaged me. 237 00:12:10,307 --> 00:12:11,775 - A date? - Yeah. 238 00:12:11,875 --> 00:12:13,678 - How very traditional of you. 239 00:12:13,777 --> 00:12:15,246 - Shush. 240 00:12:15,346 --> 00:12:18,550 He's a bit older, but very complimentary of me. 241 00:12:18,650 --> 00:12:19,783 I see what you and Oscar got, 242 00:12:19,883 --> 00:12:22,353 and I wouldn't mind being adored. 243 00:12:22,453 --> 00:12:23,254 - Ooh, come here. 244 00:12:24,321 --> 00:12:26,857 We're not gonna find anything here. 245 00:12:26,957 --> 00:12:29,460 We should just go to that cactus store in Echo Park. 246 00:12:29,561 --> 00:12:32,196 - Can you imagine Leah keeping anything alive? 247 00:12:32,296 --> 00:12:34,566 Oh, remember Bootsy, that gray cat? 248 00:12:34,666 --> 00:12:35,700 - Oh my God, yes. 249 00:12:35,799 --> 00:12:36,500 Poor girl. - Rest in peace. 250 00:12:37,535 --> 00:12:38,435 Oh. 251 00:12:38,536 --> 00:12:40,037 Hello. What about this? 252 00:12:41,071 --> 00:12:43,240 - I don't know. It's pretty phallic. 253 00:12:43,340 --> 00:12:44,341 - Exactly. 254 00:12:44,441 --> 00:12:46,844 - I don't think phallic is the route to take 255 00:12:46,944 --> 00:12:48,747 for a lesbian housewarming party. 256 00:12:48,846 --> 00:12:51,549 - Of course it is. Women love this sort of thing. 257 00:12:51,650 --> 00:12:53,551 It's a symbol of power. 258 00:12:54,852 --> 00:12:56,120 - Do you remember their wedding? 259 00:12:56,220 --> 00:12:57,555 - Like stepping into Hillary Clinton's closet. 260 00:12:57,656 --> 00:12:58,523 - There were like, what? 261 00:12:58,623 --> 00:13:00,558 Maybe three men there. 262 00:13:00,659 --> 00:13:02,826 Then they summoned the spirit of Eleanor Roosevelt. 263 00:13:02,926 --> 00:13:04,228 - Oh, I remember that. Right. 264 00:13:04,328 --> 00:13:07,298 - I don't think they find wieners to be empowering. 265 00:13:07,398 --> 00:13:08,633 - Yeah. 266 00:13:08,733 --> 00:13:11,368 That that wasn't a great night to be a single desperate man. 267 00:13:11,468 --> 00:13:12,069 I remember. 268 00:13:15,406 --> 00:13:16,240 What is it? 269 00:13:18,042 --> 00:13:19,443 - It's nothing. 270 00:13:19,544 --> 00:13:20,878 - Did you see someone? 271 00:13:22,279 --> 00:13:23,080 - No. 272 00:13:24,848 --> 00:13:26,150 I thought I saw Arthur. 273 00:13:31,922 --> 00:13:33,390 - Hi. - Hello. 274 00:13:33,490 --> 00:13:34,325 - Hello. 275 00:13:35,359 --> 00:13:37,227 - Shit, did we get the wrong day? 276 00:13:38,495 --> 00:13:39,564 - No. Why? 277 00:13:39,664 --> 00:13:40,931 - You're wearing pajamas. 278 00:13:44,401 --> 00:13:45,169 - I'm not. 279 00:13:45,269 --> 00:13:46,805 - Oh. - They're super cute. 280 00:13:46,904 --> 00:13:47,672 - Yeah. 281 00:13:47,772 --> 00:13:49,006 - This is athleisure wear. 282 00:13:49,106 --> 00:13:50,775 It's very east side mom. 283 00:13:50,874 --> 00:13:52,476 - Right. 284 00:13:52,577 --> 00:13:53,678 This is for you. 285 00:13:53,778 --> 00:13:55,879 - Oh, wow. 286 00:13:55,979 --> 00:13:58,148 Thank you. - Meow. 287 00:13:58,248 --> 00:13:59,383 - Wow. 288 00:13:59,483 --> 00:14:01,519 Thank you so much. 289 00:14:01,619 --> 00:14:03,755 - Thomas. Hi! - Hey. 290 00:14:03,854 --> 00:14:06,490 - Oh, I was hoping you'd come by. 291 00:14:06,591 --> 00:14:08,793 I haven't seen you since like- 292 00:14:08,892 --> 00:14:09,828 - Oh, it's been months. 293 00:14:09,927 --> 00:14:11,529 - Yeah. Oh, sorry. 294 00:14:11,629 --> 00:14:14,599 Thomas, this is Annie. 295 00:14:14,699 --> 00:14:17,134 Thomas is a fabulous photographer. 296 00:14:17,234 --> 00:14:19,169 He did my first and third wedding. 297 00:14:19,269 --> 00:14:21,939 - Ooh, honey, nice to meet you. 298 00:14:22,039 --> 00:14:23,374 What happened in wedding number two? 299 00:14:23,474 --> 00:14:25,577 - Well, thankfully there's no photographic evidence 300 00:14:25,677 --> 00:14:27,144 of that one. 301 00:14:27,244 --> 00:14:29,380 The FBI collected it all for the grand jury trial. 302 00:14:31,683 --> 00:14:32,916 I'm sorry. 303 00:14:33,016 --> 00:14:34,118 Can you please excuse me a moment? 304 00:14:34,218 --> 00:14:36,086 I've gotta go pump my girls before they leak 305 00:14:36,186 --> 00:14:37,522 all over the place. - Yeah. 306 00:14:38,922 --> 00:14:41,892 - I didn't know they could leak. 307 00:14:41,992 --> 00:14:44,529 - So you're a photographer. You're good? 308 00:14:45,597 --> 00:14:46,497 - I think I am. 309 00:14:47,832 --> 00:14:48,999 What about you? What do you do? 310 00:14:49,099 --> 00:14:51,335 - I'm a mommy. 311 00:14:51,435 --> 00:14:54,405 - We love that. And what do you do for work? 312 00:14:54,506 --> 00:14:55,707 - I'm a mommy. 313 00:14:55,807 --> 00:14:57,542 I have a motherhood lifestyle brand. 314 00:14:57,642 --> 00:14:59,410 - Oh, that- 315 00:14:59,511 --> 00:15:01,044 Yes. Very that. 316 00:15:02,379 --> 00:15:05,949 - You know, social media presence, vlog, brand deals. 317 00:15:06,049 --> 00:15:07,918 Some have called me a visionary. 318 00:15:08,952 --> 00:15:11,723 - And you make a living doing that? 319 00:15:11,823 --> 00:15:12,590 - I do. 320 00:15:12,690 --> 00:15:15,325 In fact, I just launched 321 00:15:15,426 --> 00:15:18,962 a very successful line of ankle weights for babies. 322 00:15:19,062 --> 00:15:21,098 They're huge in Korea. 323 00:15:21,198 --> 00:15:22,933 - Why not? - Mm-hmm! 324 00:15:24,669 --> 00:15:26,303 - Do you mind if I ask you a personal question? 325 00:15:26,403 --> 00:15:27,572 - Sure. 326 00:15:27,672 --> 00:15:29,039 - How did you become a mother? 327 00:15:29,139 --> 00:15:31,576 - Oh, my best friend donated his sperm. 328 00:15:31,676 --> 00:15:32,510 - Is he- 329 00:15:33,711 --> 00:15:34,813 - Gay? - Yeah. 330 00:15:34,913 --> 00:15:35,680 - Yes. Yes. 331 00:15:35,780 --> 00:15:37,047 Very gay. Gay gay gay. 332 00:15:37,147 --> 00:15:38,248 - So progressive. 333 00:15:38,348 --> 00:15:41,452 - I actually find it to be quite old-fashioned. 334 00:15:41,553 --> 00:15:42,854 - Hmm. 335 00:15:42,953 --> 00:15:45,189 - Okay. I gotta go and tinkle. 336 00:15:45,289 --> 00:15:48,125 But you and me, we'll get together later, okay? 337 00:15:48,225 --> 00:15:49,828 We'll talk about the snap snap. 338 00:15:49,928 --> 00:15:51,796 - I will be here. - Alright toodles! 339 00:15:51,896 --> 00:15:52,764 - Please. 340 00:15:52,864 --> 00:15:54,632 I just want some cake 341 00:15:54,732 --> 00:15:57,000 with a tiny little bit of dairy. 342 00:15:57,100 --> 00:15:58,603 - Okay. - Thank you. 343 00:16:00,404 --> 00:16:01,673 - Good seeing you, Thomas. 344 00:16:01,773 --> 00:16:03,741 I'm gonna go fire up the hog. 345 00:16:03,842 --> 00:16:05,510 - Sonia did not just ask you 346 00:16:05,610 --> 00:16:07,712 to do those nude shots on her motorcycle again, did she? 347 00:16:07,812 --> 00:16:09,112 Because I told her- 348 00:16:09,213 --> 00:16:11,783 - No, no, she's sweet. 349 00:16:11,883 --> 00:16:14,084 I couldn't do that again. 350 00:16:14,184 --> 00:16:16,053 I did just meet a new client though, I think. 351 00:16:16,153 --> 00:16:16,987 - Who? - Annie? 352 00:16:18,623 --> 00:16:19,524 - Oh. 353 00:16:19,624 --> 00:16:21,158 She's great. - Yeah? 354 00:16:21,258 --> 00:16:24,729 - Yeah. She's huge in the lesbian mom community, so. 355 00:16:24,829 --> 00:16:25,930 - Nice. 356 00:16:26,029 --> 00:16:28,298 - She's friends with Rosie, O'Donnell. 357 00:16:28,398 --> 00:16:29,500 - I got it. 358 00:16:29,601 --> 00:16:30,502 How do you know her? 359 00:16:30,602 --> 00:16:33,003 - Sonia baked our son's first birthday cake. 360 00:16:33,103 --> 00:16:34,471 - That tracks. 361 00:16:38,442 --> 00:16:39,677 - You okay? 362 00:16:39,777 --> 00:16:43,213 Jamie said there was a bit of a dramatic incident earlier. 363 00:16:43,313 --> 00:16:44,414 - Everything's fine. 364 00:16:44,516 --> 00:16:45,482 - Okay. 365 00:16:45,583 --> 00:16:47,050 Well, he said you looked like you saw a ghost. 366 00:16:47,150 --> 00:16:48,352 - Yeah. I don't really wanna talk about it right now. 367 00:16:48,452 --> 00:16:49,854 It's just like all these people in here. 368 00:16:49,954 --> 00:16:51,221 - Okay. Well, I'm worried about you. 369 00:16:51,321 --> 00:16:53,323 Oh, do you still wanna speak to Jen and Vic 370 00:16:53,423 --> 00:16:54,993 about the adoption agency they used? 371 00:16:55,092 --> 00:16:56,594 Because they're supposed to be here, so. 372 00:16:56,694 --> 00:16:58,195 - No, we're, 373 00:16:58,295 --> 00:17:00,464 we're kind of giving up on the whole adoption thing. 374 00:17:01,365 --> 00:17:02,767 - Okay. 375 00:17:02,867 --> 00:17:06,704 - I mean, Oscar's so busy with the show and it's just like, 376 00:17:06,804 --> 00:17:08,405 it's unrealistic. 377 00:17:08,506 --> 00:17:09,139 - Okay. 378 00:17:10,642 --> 00:17:12,944 Sorry to hear that. 379 00:17:13,043 --> 00:17:15,045 - I love being a dad. 380 00:17:15,145 --> 00:17:16,246 It's just like, 381 00:17:16,346 --> 00:17:17,682 it doesn't make sense right now. 382 00:17:17,782 --> 00:17:19,717 Timing, and I don't know. 383 00:17:19,817 --> 00:17:21,686 I don't think that I can really 384 00:17:21,786 --> 00:17:23,888 try to do it again right now. 385 00:17:23,988 --> 00:17:24,756 Right? 386 00:17:26,691 --> 00:17:27,424 No. 387 00:17:27,525 --> 00:17:29,994 Stop. What is going on in there? 388 00:17:30,093 --> 00:17:31,161 Do we have any news? 389 00:17:31,261 --> 00:17:32,496 - Don't. Nothing. 390 00:17:32,597 --> 00:17:34,966 We'll know on Tuesday if this round of IVF worked. 391 00:17:35,065 --> 00:17:35,767 - Okay. How you feeling? 392 00:17:37,535 --> 00:17:38,536 - Amazing. 393 00:17:39,604 --> 00:17:41,104 Fucking sucks. 394 00:17:41,204 --> 00:17:43,741 I'm so anxious, but I shouldn't be anxious. 395 00:17:43,841 --> 00:17:46,611 And all I wanna do is drink, but I can't drink. 396 00:17:46,711 --> 00:17:47,679 And so. 397 00:17:47,779 --> 00:17:49,179 - Hey yeah, I'm so sorry. 398 00:17:49,279 --> 00:17:51,214 Staggy has gone to the car for the power drill. 399 00:17:51,315 --> 00:17:52,316 - What? - She wants to do 400 00:17:52,416 --> 00:17:53,718 the quick adjust. - I told them, 401 00:17:53,818 --> 00:17:56,654 no power tools today! - Okay with the screaming. 402 00:18:11,970 --> 00:18:14,706 - I don't understand the appeal. 403 00:18:14,806 --> 00:18:15,773 - Are you kidding? 404 00:18:19,109 --> 00:18:20,778 This photograph is beautiful. 405 00:18:21,879 --> 00:18:24,015 - You enjoy it? 406 00:18:24,114 --> 00:18:25,148 - You're not kidding. 407 00:18:27,150 --> 00:18:28,786 - I mean, they're provocative, I guess. 408 00:18:30,287 --> 00:18:32,255 - Okay. Look at this photograph. 409 00:18:32,356 --> 00:18:36,661 Right? This is about kinks, submission, aggression, power. 410 00:18:38,228 --> 00:18:41,365 Homosexuality at its core is provocative. 411 00:18:41,465 --> 00:18:42,667 - Yeah, but that's my problem with it. 412 00:18:42,767 --> 00:18:44,167 - What? 413 00:18:44,267 --> 00:18:47,204 - This is what everyone thinks gay people are like. 414 00:18:47,304 --> 00:18:48,840 - This is what gay people are like. 415 00:18:48,940 --> 00:18:49,774 - Some. 416 00:18:49,874 --> 00:18:51,976 - Hmm. And some are stubborn. 417 00:18:52,076 --> 00:18:53,111 - I'm a Taurus. 418 00:18:55,813 --> 00:18:57,214 I don't know. 419 00:18:57,314 --> 00:18:59,282 It's like the ever expanding title of our community. 420 00:18:59,383 --> 00:19:02,754 LGBTQ plus, YZX plus plus plus plus. 421 00:19:02,854 --> 00:19:03,688 - Oh, oh. 422 00:19:03,788 --> 00:19:05,089 - How can we be one thing 423 00:19:05,188 --> 00:19:06,557 when we're expected to be everything? 424 00:19:06,658 --> 00:19:10,460 - Hmm. I am so glad that I brought you here. 425 00:19:10,561 --> 00:19:11,863 - Listen. 426 00:19:11,963 --> 00:19:14,297 When I got outed from the show, 427 00:19:15,700 --> 00:19:19,003 I was charged with perverting some kind of idea or image. 428 00:19:19,103 --> 00:19:22,507 I mean, we were the first Latino family on primetime TV. 429 00:19:22,607 --> 00:19:23,541 - Yeah. Major. 430 00:19:23,641 --> 00:19:26,376 - But Freddy Cruz suddenly was a queer. 431 00:19:26,476 --> 00:19:28,146 So that, that was it. 432 00:19:28,245 --> 00:19:30,313 It was done. Nothing else mattered. 433 00:19:30,414 --> 00:19:33,151 All of a sudden, this is how they saw me. 434 00:19:33,250 --> 00:19:36,253 I wasn't a person anymore. I was provocative. 435 00:19:36,353 --> 00:19:38,488 - I'm really sorry that that happened to you. 436 00:19:38,589 --> 00:19:40,357 That must have been really hard. 437 00:19:42,292 --> 00:19:43,326 - It sucked. 438 00:19:47,397 --> 00:19:48,198 - When I was 12, 439 00:19:49,366 --> 00:19:52,402 I found this book of Mapplethorpe photographs 440 00:19:52,503 --> 00:19:54,237 at a bookstore in St. Louis. 441 00:19:54,337 --> 00:19:55,573 My mom was there, 442 00:19:55,673 --> 00:19:57,474 so I had to like rush to get it back on the shelf. 443 00:19:57,575 --> 00:19:59,309 I didn't want her to see me looking at it. 444 00:19:59,409 --> 00:20:03,147 I had all these dreams about these pictures, these men, 445 00:20:03,246 --> 00:20:04,148 and just, 446 00:20:04,247 --> 00:20:06,551 I dreamt that I was in leather, 447 00:20:06,651 --> 00:20:09,954 and I was determined to find another copy of this book. 448 00:20:10,054 --> 00:20:13,658 So I went to the library in the city where my mom worked, 449 00:20:13,758 --> 00:20:15,225 and there it was, 450 00:20:19,030 --> 00:20:23,701 and then when it was time to leave, I stole the book. 451 00:20:27,038 --> 00:20:28,238 - You stole it. - I did. 452 00:20:29,339 --> 00:20:30,708 I mean, technically I wasn't stealing. 453 00:20:30,808 --> 00:20:33,711 My tax dollars were paying for it. 454 00:20:33,811 --> 00:20:34,946 But- - You were 12. 455 00:20:36,346 --> 00:20:37,314 - Yeah. So? 456 00:20:37,414 --> 00:20:38,816 - You weren't paying any taxes. 457 00:20:38,916 --> 00:20:39,884 - Someone was. 458 00:20:42,553 --> 00:20:45,823 Hm. And these photos shaped the idea of me. 459 00:20:47,959 --> 00:20:51,896 You know, that's kind of all I, all I had. 460 00:20:51,996 --> 00:20:52,830 That's all there was. 461 00:20:55,032 --> 00:20:56,134 - Well, at least now I know 462 00:20:56,234 --> 00:20:57,735 where your thing for leather originated. 463 00:21:06,811 --> 00:21:09,046 - So he had me get in my underwear 464 00:21:09,147 --> 00:21:10,347 and lie face down on the mat. 465 00:21:10,447 --> 00:21:11,983 - Why were you in your underwear? 466 00:21:12,083 --> 00:21:13,151 - Hmm. 467 00:21:13,251 --> 00:21:14,451 Then he straddled me and stretch my back 468 00:21:14,552 --> 00:21:15,787 for like 20 minutes. 469 00:21:16,954 --> 00:21:19,123 - How much is Kale charging to train you? 470 00:21:19,223 --> 00:21:20,558 - Why? 471 00:21:20,658 --> 00:21:22,160 - It doesn't sound like he's doing anything. 472 00:21:22,260 --> 00:21:23,426 - Oh, you played a Ted talk during it. 473 00:21:23,528 --> 00:21:24,262 - Whatever, girl. 474 00:21:24,361 --> 00:21:25,663 It's your money. 475 00:21:25,763 --> 00:21:27,632 - Well, it's someone's money. 476 00:21:28,431 --> 00:21:29,399 - Don't tell me. 477 00:21:29,499 --> 00:21:30,601 - Come here, Judy. 478 00:21:30,701 --> 00:21:31,536 - That that guy is paying you 479 00:21:31,636 --> 00:21:33,336 for pictures of your feet again. 480 00:21:33,436 --> 00:21:34,404 - Oh. No, no, no, no. 481 00:21:34,505 --> 00:21:36,306 I think Victor's in jail now. 482 00:21:36,406 --> 00:21:38,543 This guy just wants videos of me eating egg rolls. 483 00:21:38,643 --> 00:21:39,544 Racist. 484 00:21:39,644 --> 00:21:42,180 - Where do you find these guys? 485 00:21:42,280 --> 00:21:43,648 - I'm sorry. 486 00:21:43,748 --> 00:21:46,383 We can't all find wealthy former child stars to marry. 487 00:21:47,552 --> 00:21:50,021 - Yeah. Well be careful what you wish for. 488 00:21:50,121 --> 00:21:52,489 - Uh oh. Trouble in Silverlake? 489 00:21:52,590 --> 00:21:54,457 - Oh, everything's fine. 490 00:21:54,559 --> 00:21:56,794 - When does Oscar come home? 491 00:21:56,894 --> 00:21:57,895 - January. 492 00:21:58,996 --> 00:22:00,363 If the show gets picked up, 493 00:22:00,463 --> 00:22:02,600 he's gonna want us to move there. 494 00:22:02,700 --> 00:22:04,001 - To Michigan, permanently? 495 00:22:05,536 --> 00:22:06,604 - Unfortunately. 496 00:22:06,704 --> 00:22:07,805 - Yikes. 497 00:22:09,507 --> 00:22:11,341 - It's really, really helpful, Jamie. 498 00:22:11,441 --> 00:22:14,411 - Well, I guess Michigan might be a better place 499 00:22:14,512 --> 00:22:16,547 to raise a kid than LA, right? 500 00:22:17,915 --> 00:22:21,252 - I thought I told you we're not going to foster again. 501 00:22:21,351 --> 00:22:22,954 - Yeah, I know you said that. 502 00:22:23,054 --> 00:22:26,423 - Hmm. So then why'd you bring it up, hm? 503 00:22:26,524 --> 00:22:29,227 - Thomas, you are many, many things, 504 00:22:29,327 --> 00:22:30,828 but subtle, you are not. 505 00:22:32,597 --> 00:22:34,532 Look, I saw your sweet and wistful smile 506 00:22:34,632 --> 00:22:36,100 when that child tried 507 00:22:36,200 --> 00:22:38,269 to ruin our brunch with that endless round of peekaboo. 508 00:22:38,368 --> 00:22:40,671 - No, no. That's not what that was. 509 00:22:41,339 --> 00:22:43,774 - If you say so. 510 00:22:43,875 --> 00:22:45,276 - Ugh. 511 00:22:45,375 --> 00:22:46,376 - What's wrong? 512 00:22:47,444 --> 00:22:49,914 What does Oscar think about all this? 513 00:22:50,014 --> 00:22:52,049 - He's always so busy. 514 00:22:52,149 --> 00:22:53,416 - What about your work? 515 00:22:53,517 --> 00:22:54,719 - What about it? 516 00:22:55,820 --> 00:22:57,922 I mean, I have weddings coming up and- 517 00:22:58,022 --> 00:23:01,325 - Are you doing something just for you, self-care? 518 00:23:01,424 --> 00:23:03,227 - Something to just for me? - Yeah. 519 00:23:03,327 --> 00:23:03,961 - Girl, please. 520 00:23:05,129 --> 00:23:06,496 Who has the time? 521 00:23:06,597 --> 00:23:09,967 - Sounds like you do. 522 00:23:10,067 --> 00:23:10,835 - Stay there. 523 00:23:12,270 --> 00:23:13,604 That light is gorgeous on you. 524 00:23:13,704 --> 00:23:15,239 - Oh, just be natural, right? 525 00:23:15,339 --> 00:23:17,008 Okay. - Yeah. No, natural. 526 00:23:18,209 --> 00:23:19,610 One more. 527 00:23:19,710 --> 00:23:20,745 - You getting the, you know, the cheekbone, 528 00:23:20,845 --> 00:23:22,479 and the jawline? - That jawline, huh? 529 00:23:22,580 --> 00:23:24,949 That jawline is so good. - Yeah. 530 00:23:25,850 --> 00:23:27,718 - I'm gonna be happy again. 531 00:23:27,818 --> 00:23:28,319 - You will. 532 00:23:28,418 --> 00:23:29,654 - Yeah. 533 00:23:29,754 --> 00:23:30,888 - We're all gonna be happy again. 534 00:23:30,988 --> 00:23:33,057 - Should we go get some egg rolls? 535 00:23:33,157 --> 00:23:34,525 We can take some pictures. 536 00:23:34,625 --> 00:23:37,028 - Take some pictures of you, of a racist person. 537 00:23:49,073 --> 00:23:51,976 - Oh, please, please don't glare at me like that. 538 00:23:52,076 --> 00:23:54,278 - How would you like me to look at you, right now? 539 00:23:54,378 --> 00:23:55,179 Hmm? 540 00:23:56,580 --> 00:23:58,448 - I booked a show. 541 00:23:58,549 --> 00:23:59,850 We're moving to Michigan. 542 00:24:01,352 --> 00:24:02,320 Our lives are about to change. 543 00:24:02,420 --> 00:24:03,955 - Exactly. 544 00:24:04,055 --> 00:24:06,424 And we're about to lose Arthur. And what? 545 00:24:06,524 --> 00:24:08,426 You're just gonna be in Michigan? 546 00:24:08,526 --> 00:24:11,963 - Yeah, but I told you that nothing I can do. 547 00:24:14,699 --> 00:24:16,667 - You really want me to go to court alone? 548 00:24:23,074 --> 00:24:24,608 - I wanna thank you for taking care of Arthur 549 00:24:24,709 --> 00:24:25,843 for the past year. 550 00:24:27,812 --> 00:24:30,181 I appreciate what you did for him. I do. 551 00:24:32,616 --> 00:24:34,852 But he is my son. 552 00:24:36,153 --> 00:24:37,487 I hope you understand that. 553 00:24:39,357 --> 00:24:40,157 I am his mother. 554 00:24:41,692 --> 00:24:42,927 - He is going back to his birth mom. 555 00:24:43,027 --> 00:24:43,527 - Please. 556 00:24:43,627 --> 00:24:44,829 - We knew from day one 557 00:24:44,929 --> 00:24:46,964 this was probably going to be temporary. 558 00:24:47,064 --> 00:24:49,567 Do you understand how much I would've given 559 00:24:49,667 --> 00:24:51,102 to have had that opportunity? 560 00:24:51,202 --> 00:24:51,969 - You would've really wanted 561 00:24:52,069 --> 00:24:54,872 to leave a loving home to go back 562 00:24:54,972 --> 00:24:56,640 and live with your junkie mom? 563 00:25:00,277 --> 00:25:03,848 - I don't mean to be disrespectful to you or that man, 564 00:25:03,948 --> 00:25:05,716 but neither of you were his father. 565 00:25:07,284 --> 00:25:08,285 It was always temporary. 566 00:25:10,321 --> 00:25:12,123 Just temporary. 567 00:25:12,223 --> 00:25:13,991 - Let's not forget you didn't want to have kids 568 00:25:14,091 --> 00:25:14,759 in the first place. 569 00:25:14,859 --> 00:25:16,961 - I didn't want to have kids. 570 00:25:17,061 --> 00:25:21,899 No, but then we did it, and we met Arthur. 571 00:25:24,535 --> 00:25:25,803 I wanna keep him. 572 00:25:25,903 --> 00:25:27,972 That's not like this insane thing for me to think. 573 00:25:28,072 --> 00:25:29,106 - So I should quit the show. - Oh. 574 00:25:29,206 --> 00:25:29,774 - Is that what I should do? 575 00:25:29,874 --> 00:25:31,108 I should quit. - Stop! 576 00:25:31,208 --> 00:25:32,309 I didn't say that. - That's what you're saying. 577 00:25:33,778 --> 00:25:36,614 If I could be with you in court, I would, but I can't. 578 00:25:38,115 --> 00:25:42,553 He's going back to his mom where he belongs. 579 00:25:42,653 --> 00:25:43,821 If I need to say goodbye, 580 00:25:43,921 --> 00:25:45,456 I will be back. - Please stop. 581 00:25:45,556 --> 00:25:46,624 - Thank you, 582 00:25:48,259 --> 00:25:49,026 for what you did do. 583 00:25:51,629 --> 00:25:52,630 - Thank you. 584 00:25:56,200 --> 00:25:57,868 Come here. It's okay. 585 00:26:00,571 --> 00:26:01,705 What you did for Arthur, 586 00:26:01,806 --> 00:26:03,474 no one can ever take away. 587 00:26:03,574 --> 00:26:04,875 You need to remember that. 588 00:26:08,312 --> 00:26:09,146 It's okay. 589 00:26:19,223 --> 00:26:20,559 - Wow. 590 00:26:20,658 --> 00:26:22,426 - I know, I know. 591 00:26:22,527 --> 00:26:25,229 It's a little shabby at the moment. 592 00:26:25,329 --> 00:26:28,099 - Please. Thank you for actually calling me. 593 00:26:28,199 --> 00:26:30,935 Most people just take my information to be nice. 594 00:26:31,035 --> 00:26:34,539 - Ah! Well, I'm not nice. 595 00:26:34,638 --> 00:26:35,372 - Can I? 596 00:26:35,473 --> 00:26:36,474 - Oh, yes, yes, yes. 597 00:26:36,575 --> 00:26:38,209 Right there is fine. 598 00:26:40,478 --> 00:26:41,645 - Do you know Maria Butcher? 599 00:26:41,745 --> 00:26:43,380 - Oh, yes. She's an old friend. 600 00:26:43,481 --> 00:26:44,782 We go way, way back. 601 00:26:44,882 --> 00:26:46,585 I was her first art attorney. 602 00:26:46,684 --> 00:26:50,387 - Oh, you're an attorney. Okay. 603 00:26:50,488 --> 00:26:51,722 - I used to be, 604 00:26:51,822 --> 00:26:55,459 but then I took a look at my life and I thought, 605 00:26:55,560 --> 00:26:57,027 is this it? 606 00:26:57,128 --> 00:26:59,196 You know, like I just kept thinking 607 00:26:59,296 --> 00:27:01,566 about the next thing and the next thing and the next, 608 00:27:01,665 --> 00:27:04,301 and then one day I realized, I said, 609 00:27:04,401 --> 00:27:05,636 "Annie, 610 00:27:05,736 --> 00:27:09,440 it is so much more important to be centered 611 00:27:09,541 --> 00:27:11,809 and be happy in the day." 612 00:27:11,909 --> 00:27:14,478 - Mm, 'cause there is no other way. 613 00:27:14,579 --> 00:27:15,547 - Excuse me? 614 00:27:15,646 --> 00:27:16,981 - Yeah. 615 00:27:18,649 --> 00:27:19,850 The song. 616 00:27:28,125 --> 00:27:28,726 - Okay. 617 00:27:28,826 --> 00:27:31,061 - So, no. - No. 618 00:27:32,463 --> 00:27:35,499 - It's a song my dad used to sing. 619 00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:36,901 It just reminded me of it. 620 00:27:38,736 --> 00:27:39,970 - Sure. Okay. 621 00:27:40,070 --> 00:27:41,805 Anyway, 622 00:27:41,906 --> 00:27:45,976 that led me to deciding that I wanted more than just money 623 00:27:46,076 --> 00:27:49,413 and status and a line of attractive ladies. 624 00:27:49,514 --> 00:27:53,484 I wanted to be a mommy. And I haven't looked back since. 625 00:27:53,585 --> 00:27:55,419 - Right. - Oh, here they are. 626 00:27:55,520 --> 00:27:56,854 Great. 627 00:27:56,954 --> 00:27:58,122 Ted, this is Thomas. - Hey, Thomas. 628 00:27:58,222 --> 00:28:00,324 - Thomas, Ted. - Nice to meet you, Ted. 629 00:28:00,424 --> 00:28:01,560 Hey little man. 630 00:28:01,660 --> 00:28:02,561 My name's Thomas, what's your name? 631 00:28:02,661 --> 00:28:04,195 - Fuck! 632 00:28:04,295 --> 00:28:05,229 - No, no. 633 00:28:05,329 --> 00:28:07,765 We did not name him that. 634 00:28:07,865 --> 00:28:09,500 His name is Huck, right? 635 00:28:09,601 --> 00:28:11,969 The H, huh huh huh. 636 00:28:12,069 --> 00:28:14,305 His speech therapist said he should grow out of it. 637 00:28:14,405 --> 00:28:15,607 - Ah, I see. 638 00:28:15,706 --> 00:28:17,208 Well it's nice to meet you, Huck. 639 00:28:17,308 --> 00:28:17,875 I get some sprinkles. 640 00:28:17,975 --> 00:28:19,210 - Nice to meet you, too. 641 00:28:19,310 --> 00:28:19,843 - Yeah! 642 00:28:19,944 --> 00:28:21,312 - Ted, sweetheart, 643 00:28:21,412 --> 00:28:24,583 I told you to put him in the Venetian Pearl. 644 00:28:24,683 --> 00:28:26,917 This is clearly a Sarcoline. 645 00:28:27,017 --> 00:28:30,321 - Oh. This is Sarcoline. - So, okay. Yeah. 646 00:28:30,421 --> 00:28:31,388 We'll be right back. 647 00:28:31,488 --> 00:28:33,891 We're just gonna quickly change. Come on, honey. 648 00:28:33,991 --> 00:28:35,426 Yeah, we'll keep that. 649 00:28:35,527 --> 00:28:36,695 We'll, we'll keep that orange. 650 00:28:36,794 --> 00:28:38,429 - Sounds like a white emergency. 651 00:28:38,530 --> 00:28:40,898 - So you're the donor. 652 00:28:40,998 --> 00:28:42,667 - I prefer father, actually. 653 00:28:42,766 --> 00:28:43,702 Oh my God, I'm so sorry. 654 00:28:43,801 --> 00:28:45,135 - Oh, it's fine. 655 00:28:45,236 --> 00:28:47,371 It's, it's not always clear to everybody how this works. 656 00:28:47,471 --> 00:28:48,506 - Yeah. 657 00:28:48,607 --> 00:28:50,575 How does it work, exactly? 658 00:28:50,675 --> 00:28:52,476 - Well, we are sharing this house. 659 00:28:52,577 --> 00:28:55,346 We co-parent Huck, but we definitely have our own lives. 660 00:28:55,446 --> 00:28:56,747 - Wow. 661 00:28:56,847 --> 00:28:58,215 I didn't realize y'all lived together too. 662 00:28:58,315 --> 00:29:01,785 - Well, just till Huck starts school, and then we'll see. 663 00:29:01,885 --> 00:29:03,087 I mean, there's no real rule book for this, 664 00:29:03,187 --> 00:29:05,690 so we're just gonna do what feels right for us. 665 00:29:05,789 --> 00:29:07,358 That's kind of the point. 666 00:29:07,458 --> 00:29:09,260 - Hmm. I love that. 667 00:29:09,360 --> 00:29:11,630 Did you always know you wanted to be a dad? 668 00:29:11,730 --> 00:29:12,963 - No. 669 00:29:13,063 --> 00:29:13,797 It really wasn't until Annie came to me 670 00:29:13,897 --> 00:29:15,266 that I even considered it. 671 00:29:15,366 --> 00:29:16,500 - Yeah. I mean, 672 00:29:16,601 --> 00:29:18,670 I didn't even think it was an option until it happened. 673 00:29:18,769 --> 00:29:21,038 - Oh. You're a dad. 674 00:29:21,138 --> 00:29:26,143 - No, I was, but I, I was a foster dad. 675 00:29:27,512 --> 00:29:28,747 - Oh, I see. - Not anymore. 676 00:29:29,714 --> 00:29:31,081 - Hey buddy, 677 00:29:31,181 --> 00:29:34,251 look at you and your white shirt! 678 00:29:34,351 --> 00:29:35,786 - Do you mind if I- - Not at all. 679 00:29:35,886 --> 00:29:36,920 Look at the camera. 680 00:29:38,055 --> 00:29:39,658 Say cheese. 681 00:29:39,758 --> 00:29:42,761 - Yeah, so good. 682 00:29:51,503 --> 00:29:52,336 - Hey. 683 00:29:56,741 --> 00:29:59,343 - She won't come out of the room. 684 00:30:03,682 --> 00:30:06,317 - I'm gonna go in, okay? 685 00:30:06,417 --> 00:30:07,051 You wait. 686 00:30:11,355 --> 00:30:12,122 Hi. 687 00:30:12,222 --> 00:30:13,057 - Hey. 688 00:30:20,097 --> 00:30:21,932 - Didn't even bring me miscarriage flowers? 689 00:30:23,000 --> 00:30:24,935 - I came as soon as I heard. 690 00:30:29,741 --> 00:30:32,544 - Not even sad supermarket flowers. 691 00:30:34,411 --> 00:30:37,314 - Did you really want sad supermarket flowers? 692 00:30:37,414 --> 00:30:39,183 - No. 693 00:30:39,283 --> 00:30:43,354 - No. 694 00:30:43,454 --> 00:30:48,158 - I want a baby. 695 00:30:48,258 --> 00:30:48,926 So stupid. 696 00:30:52,597 --> 00:30:54,164 - What if I told you I brought you Italian food 697 00:30:54,264 --> 00:30:56,568 from that place on Hillhurst? 698 00:30:58,001 --> 00:30:59,571 - Did you? - Mm-hmm. 699 00:31:02,272 --> 00:31:05,275 - So you're a good friend after all. 700 00:31:08,178 --> 00:31:09,880 Go, get it, I'm hungry. 701 00:31:09,980 --> 00:31:10,948 - Okay. 702 00:31:12,983 --> 00:31:17,121 I love you. 703 00:31:22,426 --> 00:31:25,864 - Anyway now, I check her REM cycle on the Watch App. 704 00:31:25,963 --> 00:31:28,165 - Okay, that seems a little extreme. 705 00:31:28,265 --> 00:31:29,900 - Sometimes I'm trying so hard to suppress a cough, 706 00:31:30,000 --> 00:31:32,737 I have tears streaming down my face. 707 00:31:32,837 --> 00:31:33,638 - Oh, baby. 708 00:31:35,172 --> 00:31:37,709 I feel like Sonia would understand if you're coughing. 709 00:31:37,809 --> 00:31:38,643 Like, what are you gonna do? 710 00:31:38,743 --> 00:31:40,344 - Yeah, awake Sonia would. 711 00:31:40,444 --> 00:31:41,579 But there's something that happens to her 712 00:31:41,679 --> 00:31:42,547 when she's half asleep. 713 00:31:42,647 --> 00:31:43,681 She becomes a demon. 714 00:31:43,782 --> 00:31:45,149 It's terrifying. 715 00:31:46,350 --> 00:31:47,819 I'm pretty sure if I didn't have cough drops 716 00:31:47,918 --> 00:31:49,219 next to my bed, 717 00:31:49,319 --> 00:31:50,822 she would've killed me by now. 718 00:31:50,954 --> 00:31:51,955 - Not the demon. 719 00:31:53,792 --> 00:31:54,859 - How much longer are we- 720 00:31:54,958 --> 00:31:56,761 - It's right up here on the corner. 721 00:31:56,861 --> 00:31:58,630 Not many steps to the top. 722 00:31:59,997 --> 00:32:02,132 - Remind me why we're going there again. 723 00:32:02,232 --> 00:32:03,768 - The guy Harry Hay 724 00:32:03,868 --> 00:32:04,401 that started the 725 00:32:04,501 --> 00:32:05,102 Mattachine Society 726 00:32:05,235 --> 00:32:06,704 used to live right next to 'em. 727 00:32:07,639 --> 00:32:09,574 - What did they do, again? 728 00:32:09,674 --> 00:32:11,910 - They advocated for queer people in the 50s. 729 00:32:12,009 --> 00:32:13,277 They were kind of the first group. 730 00:32:13,377 --> 00:32:14,111 - Oh, I see. 731 00:32:14,211 --> 00:32:16,313 And these were a bunch of white guys? 732 00:32:18,081 --> 00:32:19,483 I thought so, okay. - Okay. 733 00:32:19,584 --> 00:32:20,919 Look, it wasn't perfect, 734 00:32:21,018 --> 00:32:22,787 but it wasn't totally worthless, either. 735 00:32:22,887 --> 00:32:24,656 I mean, these things take time, right? 736 00:32:27,057 --> 00:32:28,959 What are we gonna do about this cough? 737 00:32:29,059 --> 00:32:30,895 Do you think these stairs are gonna 738 00:32:30,994 --> 00:32:32,329 fix this cough? - What are we gonna do 739 00:32:32,429 --> 00:32:33,464 about this hill? 740 00:32:33,565 --> 00:32:34,666 Are you fucking kidding me? - I got it. 741 00:32:34,766 --> 00:32:36,099 Come on. - Oh my God, ugh. 742 00:32:38,937 --> 00:32:39,970 Here we go. 743 00:32:42,072 --> 00:32:43,474 - I thought there'd be more. 744 00:32:43,575 --> 00:32:44,475 - More steps? 745 00:32:44,576 --> 00:32:46,410 - No, I don't know. 746 00:32:47,745 --> 00:32:52,115 This whole experience feels wrong, somehow. 747 00:32:52,216 --> 00:32:54,485 - I think you're deciding to be disappointed. 748 00:32:54,586 --> 00:32:55,887 - No, I'm disappointed. 749 00:32:55,986 --> 00:32:59,122 - Sometimes stairs are just stairs. 750 00:32:59,223 --> 00:33:01,325 - Okay, let me get a picture of you. 751 00:33:02,359 --> 00:33:04,562 - To memorialize the disappointment? 752 00:33:04,662 --> 00:33:06,330 - Just sit down. - Okay. 753 00:33:11,401 --> 00:33:14,004 - There's something about you. 754 00:33:14,104 --> 00:33:15,372 - My good looks? 755 00:33:15,472 --> 00:33:17,642 Or my professional and financial success? 756 00:33:20,812 --> 00:33:22,346 - When are you going to Denver? 757 00:33:23,581 --> 00:33:24,414 - Next week. 758 00:33:26,250 --> 00:33:28,586 - And they're gonna try to fertilize you? 759 00:33:28,686 --> 00:33:30,454 - No, it's just a consult. 760 00:33:30,555 --> 00:33:33,357 They won't take you if they think you're hopeless. 761 00:33:33,457 --> 00:33:35,760 But they're supposedly the best. 762 00:33:38,530 --> 00:33:40,732 - It's weird how we're going through something 763 00:33:40,832 --> 00:33:43,768 so similar yet so different. 764 00:33:49,974 --> 00:33:52,744 You know, you're my oldest friend. 765 00:33:52,844 --> 00:33:54,344 - Oldest? 766 00:33:54,444 --> 00:33:55,914 - Not now. 767 00:33:56,014 --> 00:33:56,848 Longest. 768 00:33:56,948 --> 00:33:58,683 You're my longest friend. 769 00:33:58,783 --> 00:33:59,584 - That's better. 770 00:34:01,019 --> 00:34:01,786 Oh. 771 00:34:04,656 --> 00:34:07,592 Should we try and beat the hipster moms to the top? 772 00:34:07,692 --> 00:34:08,927 - In these boots? 773 00:34:09,027 --> 00:34:10,494 - Yeah, let's do it, yeah. - Okay. 774 00:34:10,595 --> 00:34:12,462 - Okay, on your mark, get set, go! 775 00:34:12,564 --> 00:34:13,932 - Hey! - Oldest! 776 00:34:14,032 --> 00:34:15,165 Motherfucker! Ah! 777 00:34:17,501 --> 00:34:19,537 Yes, yes, yes! 778 00:34:20,872 --> 00:34:22,406 Ugh! 779 00:34:24,008 --> 00:34:25,242 Even after all these years, 780 00:34:25,342 --> 00:34:28,947 it still feels so good to watch you eat my dust. 781 00:34:29,047 --> 00:34:29,948 - Eat my dust? - Yeah. 782 00:34:30,048 --> 00:34:32,416 - What is this, '94? 783 00:34:32,517 --> 00:34:33,483 - Oh my God. 784 00:34:33,585 --> 00:34:34,552 - Oh that's Sarah. 785 00:34:34,652 --> 00:34:35,553 That's Arthur's mom. 786 00:34:35,653 --> 00:34:36,253 - What? - Yeah. 787 00:34:36,353 --> 00:34:37,487 - What is she doing here? 788 00:34:37,589 --> 00:34:39,089 - No, his school's right down the street. 789 00:34:39,189 --> 00:34:40,324 She must have just dropped him off. 790 00:34:40,424 --> 00:34:41,993 Oh, should I say something? 791 00:34:42,092 --> 00:34:43,661 - Be normal, just be a person. 792 00:34:43,761 --> 00:34:44,996 - Hey Sarah. 793 00:34:45,095 --> 00:34:45,797 - Thomas. 794 00:34:46,864 --> 00:34:48,533 - How are you? - How are you? 795 00:34:48,633 --> 00:34:49,567 - Good, um, 796 00:34:51,201 --> 00:34:52,169 this is Leah. 797 00:34:52,269 --> 00:34:53,972 She was with me at the hearing. 798 00:34:54,072 --> 00:34:55,205 - Nice to see you again. 799 00:34:56,373 --> 00:34:58,408 - How are you? How's Arthur? 800 00:34:59,276 --> 00:35:00,377 - Never better. 801 00:35:01,579 --> 00:35:02,747 - That's awesome. 802 00:35:02,847 --> 00:35:05,783 I know he was worried about starting school. 803 00:35:07,051 --> 00:35:10,054 I've just been thinking about him a lot. 804 00:35:10,153 --> 00:35:11,455 - He's doing really well. 805 00:35:12,356 --> 00:35:13,457 - That's amazing. 806 00:35:15,560 --> 00:35:19,030 - Well, I'll see you around. 807 00:35:19,129 --> 00:35:19,797 - Yeah, yeah. 808 00:35:21,164 --> 00:35:22,165 Bye. 809 00:35:25,970 --> 00:35:26,738 - You okay? 810 00:35:26,838 --> 00:35:27,639 - Yeah no, I'm great. 811 00:35:28,773 --> 00:35:30,508 She looks tired, right? 812 00:35:30,608 --> 00:35:32,175 Don't you think she looks tired? 813 00:35:33,176 --> 00:35:34,012 - I don't know. 814 00:35:34,112 --> 00:35:35,212 - No, she's gotta be tired. 815 00:35:35,312 --> 00:35:36,547 I know she's working two jobs right now, 816 00:35:36,648 --> 00:35:39,651 and it's like, I'm just worried, you know? 817 00:35:39,751 --> 00:35:41,218 He's at school, and- 818 00:35:41,318 --> 00:35:42,987 You know, they say that driving tired 819 00:35:43,087 --> 00:35:44,756 is worse than driving drunk. 820 00:35:44,856 --> 00:35:45,857 Imagine raising a kid tired? 821 00:35:45,957 --> 00:35:46,758 - Thomas. 822 00:35:46,858 --> 00:35:48,026 - But I knew he was, 823 00:35:48,126 --> 00:35:49,727 I knew he was going to school there. 824 00:35:50,528 --> 00:35:51,529 It was only a matter of time 825 00:35:51,629 --> 00:35:52,864 before we ran into each other. 826 00:35:52,964 --> 00:35:54,966 Ah, the anticipation is over, 827 00:35:55,066 --> 00:35:58,036 and we're good, it's happened. 828 00:35:58,136 --> 00:35:59,169 I can move on. 829 00:35:59,269 --> 00:36:01,806 - And she said he was doing good. 830 00:36:01,906 --> 00:36:03,473 - Yeah, she said that, right? 831 00:36:03,574 --> 00:36:04,609 - She did. 832 00:36:04,709 --> 00:36:09,147 Hey, it's okay. 833 00:36:12,182 --> 00:36:13,584 Oh, I know, I know! 834 00:36:13,685 --> 00:36:16,554 - It's just IVF, so you miss your injection window, 835 00:36:16,654 --> 00:36:17,789 we have to wait a whole other month. 836 00:36:17,889 --> 00:36:18,656 - I'm sorry. 837 00:36:18,756 --> 00:36:19,857 Sorry I'm not chomping at the bit 838 00:36:19,957 --> 00:36:23,528 to stick seven needles in my broken body, ugh! 839 00:36:24,929 --> 00:36:26,363 - Hi Thomas. You want some pie? 840 00:36:26,463 --> 00:36:28,566 - Mm, yes, please. 841 00:36:28,666 --> 00:36:30,434 - I think this one is the winner. 842 00:36:30,535 --> 00:36:33,104 It's a Bananoffee Cream Pie. 843 00:36:33,203 --> 00:36:34,237 - Oh, Banana-noffee. 844 00:36:34,337 --> 00:36:35,573 - I'm still working on its name. 845 00:36:37,274 --> 00:36:38,643 - Oh my God. 846 00:36:38,743 --> 00:36:40,745 - Yeah? - Yes. 847 00:36:40,845 --> 00:36:42,245 Holy shit. - Yay. 848 00:36:42,345 --> 00:36:43,081 How was your walk? 849 00:36:43,181 --> 00:36:44,916 - Ugh. 850 00:36:45,016 --> 00:36:45,817 - What? 851 00:36:47,217 --> 00:36:48,820 - We ran into Arthur's mom. 852 00:36:50,054 --> 00:36:51,354 - Okay, I see. 853 00:36:51,455 --> 00:36:52,824 Arthur is well? 854 00:36:54,092 --> 00:36:54,826 - Yeah. 855 00:36:56,359 --> 00:36:58,228 - I know you've been having such a hard time, 856 00:36:58,328 --> 00:36:59,429 but I do hope that you see 857 00:36:59,530 --> 00:37:02,232 just how special what you had was. 858 00:37:03,366 --> 00:37:04,802 And he made you a dad. 859 00:37:05,970 --> 00:37:08,139 And what a wonderful gift. 860 00:37:08,238 --> 00:37:10,208 What a wonderful gift. 861 00:37:10,307 --> 00:37:11,341 You want some pie? 862 00:37:11,441 --> 00:37:12,677 You want some pie. - Yes, please. 863 00:37:12,777 --> 00:37:13,811 - Okay, alright. 864 00:37:16,446 --> 00:37:17,380 Pie, pie pie pie. 865 00:37:18,883 --> 00:37:23,521 What I'm wondering is what it is about being a father 866 00:37:23,621 --> 00:37:25,422 that made you feel like you were a better person. 867 00:37:25,523 --> 00:37:26,557 - Mm. - Yeah? 868 00:37:26,657 --> 00:37:27,792 Why do you keep denying yourself 869 00:37:27,892 --> 00:37:31,361 the opportunity to just feel that again? 870 00:37:31,461 --> 00:37:32,295 - I don't know. 871 00:37:33,798 --> 00:37:35,199 I don't think it's wrong for me to feel like 872 00:37:35,298 --> 00:37:37,535 it'll never be the same, you know? 873 00:37:37,635 --> 00:37:41,606 - Now I know you didn't ask my opinion, but listen, 874 00:37:41,706 --> 00:37:43,708 I think you are an exceptional dad. 875 00:37:44,842 --> 00:37:48,179 And the reality is that time, honey, 876 00:37:48,278 --> 00:37:49,747 time is gonna run out. 877 00:37:50,815 --> 00:37:51,649 - Okay. - So, 878 00:37:52,717 --> 00:37:54,051 maybe you don't take my advice, 879 00:37:54,152 --> 00:37:56,120 but it would've been wrong 880 00:37:56,220 --> 00:37:57,822 if I didn't at least try to warn you. 881 00:37:59,289 --> 00:38:00,525 - Thank you. 882 00:38:00,625 --> 00:38:02,727 - Our lives are lived only once. 883 00:38:02,827 --> 00:38:04,494 There's so little room for error. 884 00:38:06,396 --> 00:38:07,799 But this pie, though. 885 00:38:09,100 --> 00:38:14,038 - Leah, Sonia, Jamie. 886 00:38:14,138 --> 00:38:16,240 What can I say about these people? 887 00:38:16,339 --> 00:38:18,441 What is it to really know someone? 888 00:38:18,543 --> 00:38:21,646 I met Leah the Fall of my freshman year of college. 889 00:38:21,746 --> 00:38:23,114 She found me passed out in the bathroom 890 00:38:23,214 --> 00:38:24,081 of a friend's house, 891 00:38:24,182 --> 00:38:25,950 and she held me until I woke up 892 00:38:26,050 --> 00:38:27,018 to make sure I was okay. 893 00:38:28,586 --> 00:38:30,087 She smelled like lemons. 894 00:38:31,722 --> 00:38:33,991 She's always been so good at fixing other people. 895 00:38:35,492 --> 00:38:36,961 It wasn't until she went to rehab 896 00:38:37,061 --> 00:38:38,596 that I realized she was always 897 00:38:38,696 --> 00:38:40,531 just trying to fix herself. 898 00:38:42,365 --> 00:38:43,433 When Leah met Sonia, 899 00:38:43,534 --> 00:38:45,937 we all thought it was a fluke. 900 00:38:46,037 --> 00:38:48,773 Too sweet, too young. 901 00:38:48,873 --> 00:38:51,843 But she loved Leah, broken pieces and all. 902 00:38:52,777 --> 00:38:53,878 When Sonia proposed to her, 903 00:38:53,978 --> 00:38:56,446 she didn't say, "Will you marry me?" 904 00:38:56,547 --> 00:39:01,118 She said, "Be with me, be with me, be with me." 905 00:39:01,219 --> 00:39:03,453 Three times, like an affirmation. 906 00:39:05,455 --> 00:39:07,859 Jamie was my first neighbor in LA. 907 00:39:08,993 --> 00:39:11,596 I never had a platonic gay friend before. 908 00:39:12,830 --> 00:39:15,398 He taught me about drag queens, brunch, 909 00:39:15,498 --> 00:39:18,536 gay subcultures I had never heard of before. 910 00:39:20,338 --> 00:39:23,373 I had never met someone so truly himself. 911 00:39:24,775 --> 00:39:26,510 So it was a surprise to all of us 912 00:39:26,611 --> 00:39:29,013 when we found out his family didn't know he was gay. 913 00:39:30,480 --> 00:39:31,649 When he finally told them, 914 00:39:31,749 --> 00:39:34,451 they didn't speak to him for nine months. 915 00:39:34,552 --> 00:39:35,853 He was cut off completely. 916 00:39:37,655 --> 00:39:39,456 Jamie moved in with me and Oscar. 917 00:39:40,524 --> 00:39:41,726 We became his family. 918 00:39:43,794 --> 00:39:46,631 I once tried to count all the photos I had ever took. 919 00:39:47,397 --> 00:39:48,633 But it was impossible. 920 00:39:49,700 --> 00:39:52,003 Sometimes it feels like a burden, 921 00:39:52,103 --> 00:39:53,070 freezing time, 922 00:39:54,437 --> 00:39:56,507 remembering being remembered, remembering, 923 00:39:56,607 --> 00:39:59,476 but it's how I show my love. 924 00:40:00,745 --> 00:40:02,914 By suggesting the possibility of immortality. 925 00:40:05,216 --> 00:40:07,518 I've thought a lot about how we all found each other 926 00:40:07,618 --> 00:40:10,021 at exactly the right moments. 927 00:40:11,589 --> 00:40:14,025 How we complement each others strengths and weaknesses. 928 00:40:15,960 --> 00:40:19,764 In the 50s, maybe they would've called us a society, 929 00:40:19,864 --> 00:40:23,401 shrouded in secrecy and innuendo, 930 00:40:23,500 --> 00:40:24,936 but what we have isn't new. 931 00:40:25,903 --> 00:40:27,939 It's the oldest damn thing there is. 932 00:40:29,340 --> 00:40:32,777 Maybe someday there will be a staircase named after us, 933 00:40:32,877 --> 00:40:35,646 and the people who walk will know 934 00:40:35,746 --> 00:40:37,648 that once there was a group of people 935 00:40:37,748 --> 00:40:40,084 who called themselves a family. 936 00:41:16,620 --> 00:41:19,123 - A house on Lake Michigan? 937 00:41:19,223 --> 00:41:20,624 - Baby, you're screaming again. 938 00:41:20,725 --> 00:41:21,726 - And we're supposed to feel sorry for you? 939 00:41:21,826 --> 00:41:23,493 - No, no, I'm not asking for that. 940 00:41:23,594 --> 00:41:25,429 - These photos are insane. 941 00:41:25,529 --> 00:41:26,697 We just got you a shitty cactus. 942 00:41:26,797 --> 00:41:28,432 - Oh my God, there's an old fashioned 943 00:41:28,532 --> 00:41:30,134 creamery down the road? 944 00:41:30,234 --> 00:41:31,035 - I know you are excited, 945 00:41:31,135 --> 00:41:31,902 but if you keep screaming, 946 00:41:32,003 --> 00:41:32,870 you're gonna keep me up all night 947 00:41:32,970 --> 00:41:34,872 with that coughing again, so. 948 00:41:34,972 --> 00:41:36,207 - I call the room with the balcony. 949 00:41:36,307 --> 00:41:38,309 - Mm-mm, you can't call the room with the balcony. 950 00:41:38,409 --> 00:41:39,910 You have to be in the place. 951 00:41:40,011 --> 00:41:41,746 - Look, no one is calling anything, okay? 952 00:41:41,846 --> 00:41:44,615 I don't even know if I want to go. 953 00:41:44,715 --> 00:41:46,884 - Oscar bought a house for you on Lake Michigan, 954 00:41:46,984 --> 00:41:48,386 and you're not sure if you want to go? 955 00:41:48,486 --> 00:41:49,420 Did you have a stroke this morning? 956 00:41:49,520 --> 00:41:50,554 - He rented it, okay? 957 00:41:50,654 --> 00:41:51,856 He didn't buy it. 958 00:41:51,956 --> 00:41:54,091 And, I don't know, he didn't consult me. 959 00:41:54,191 --> 00:41:55,726 - But didn't you all agree 960 00:41:55,826 --> 00:41:56,894 that if the show got picked up, 961 00:41:56,994 --> 00:41:58,629 you were going to buy a house? 962 00:41:58,729 --> 00:42:01,098 - Maybe it's just I'm officially the same age 963 00:42:01,198 --> 00:42:04,301 as my dad was when he died, and I don't know, 964 00:42:04,402 --> 00:42:06,470 I just thought I would have done more 965 00:42:06,570 --> 00:42:08,172 with my life by now. 966 00:42:08,272 --> 00:42:10,274 - Thomas, you have a nice life. 967 00:42:10,374 --> 00:42:11,575 - Aw, I love you. 968 00:42:11,675 --> 00:42:13,844 - So, what are you gonna do? 969 00:42:13,944 --> 00:42:15,546 - Honestly, part of me kinda wishes the show 970 00:42:15,646 --> 00:42:17,348 doesn't get picked up. 971 00:42:17,448 --> 00:42:18,549 - Well, if that's how you feel, 972 00:42:18,649 --> 00:42:19,417 that's how you feel. 973 00:42:19,518 --> 00:42:20,251 Don't agonize over it. 974 00:42:20,351 --> 00:42:21,318 - But I'm not. 975 00:42:21,419 --> 00:42:23,988 And like, that's weird. I should be. 976 00:42:24,088 --> 00:42:26,657 I just wish I could hit the rewind button 977 00:42:26,757 --> 00:42:28,527 and go back to the way things were 978 00:42:28,626 --> 00:42:30,194 before it all got so complicated. 979 00:42:30,294 --> 00:42:32,329 Oh my God. 980 00:42:32,430 --> 00:42:34,031 - Happy birthday! 981 00:42:34,131 --> 00:42:35,466 - That is gorgeous. 982 00:42:35,566 --> 00:42:36,467 Wait, did you make that? 983 00:42:36,567 --> 00:42:37,435 - I did. - You made that all? 984 00:42:37,536 --> 00:42:38,936 - Yes I did! - Artiste. 985 00:42:39,036 --> 00:42:40,337 - I'm dying to eat it. - Damn. 986 00:42:40,438 --> 00:42:42,173 He is old! 987 00:42:42,273 --> 00:42:44,842 - Okay, go over there, Jamie. - Do the timer thing. 988 00:42:44,942 --> 00:42:45,943 You have to be in it. - I don't need 989 00:42:46,043 --> 00:42:47,478 to be in this. - Why so bossy? 990 00:42:47,578 --> 00:42:48,712 - I already posted something, 991 00:42:48,813 --> 00:42:49,680 by the way. - This is just for me. 992 00:42:49,780 --> 00:42:50,614 - This has to be in the picture. 993 00:42:50,714 --> 00:42:51,649 - Yes, get that. 994 00:42:51,749 --> 00:42:52,850 Flip the wiener though, because- 995 00:42:52,950 --> 00:42:54,885 - 'Cause it's small? - Flip the wiener. 996 00:42:56,053 --> 00:42:57,354 - Okay, ah. 997 00:42:57,455 --> 00:42:58,089 I love you. 998 00:43:10,734 --> 00:43:12,069 - Hello, birthday boy! 999 00:43:12,169 --> 00:43:14,004 Are you ready for you birthday spanking? 1000 00:43:14,105 --> 00:43:17,241 - Mm, don't make promises you can't keep. 1001 00:43:17,341 --> 00:43:20,111 - Well, Mary Kate's here, too. 1002 00:43:20,211 --> 00:43:21,378 - Oh my God, babe. 1003 00:43:21,479 --> 00:43:23,414 I'm sorry, I thought, 1004 00:43:23,515 --> 00:43:26,283 I thought you were alone. 1005 00:43:26,383 --> 00:43:27,384 - She doesn't mind. 1006 00:43:27,485 --> 00:43:29,120 - Hi, Mary Kate. 1007 00:43:29,220 --> 00:43:30,254 - Hi, Thomas! 1008 00:43:30,354 --> 00:43:31,222 Don't mind me. 1009 00:43:31,322 --> 00:43:34,325 Get those birthday spankings! 1010 00:43:34,425 --> 00:43:37,128 - Okay, so? 1011 00:43:37,228 --> 00:43:39,163 - The house is beautiful. 1012 00:43:39,263 --> 00:43:40,764 - And? 1013 00:43:40,865 --> 00:43:44,401 - And I thought you were coming to LA after. 1014 00:43:44,502 --> 00:43:46,871 - I am, but I have big news. 1015 00:43:47,506 --> 00:43:48,772 - Okay. 1016 00:43:48,873 --> 00:43:52,276 - The network ordered 10 more episodes, 1017 00:43:52,376 --> 00:43:55,913 and the show's been picked up for two more seasons. 1018 00:43:56,013 --> 00:43:57,014 Two! 1019 00:43:57,114 --> 00:43:59,783 - Oh my God. 1020 00:43:59,884 --> 00:44:01,652 Two more years? 1021 00:44:01,752 --> 00:44:02,853 - I know! 1022 00:44:02,953 --> 00:44:03,821 And to think that a few months ago, 1023 00:44:03,921 --> 00:44:05,156 I was doing bootcamp classes. 1024 00:44:05,256 --> 00:44:07,391 It's crazy how everything can just change 1025 00:44:07,491 --> 00:44:08,759 from one day to the next. 1026 00:44:09,760 --> 00:44:11,295 - Yeah, wow. 1027 00:44:11,395 --> 00:44:13,731 - You better start booking some weddings in Michigan. 1028 00:44:13,831 --> 00:44:16,433 - Yes, Michigan weddings. 1029 00:44:16,535 --> 00:44:18,269 - Oh, I gotta go. 1030 00:44:18,369 --> 00:44:20,771 Happy birthday, Thomas Reid. 1031 00:44:20,871 --> 00:44:23,140 We have big things ahead of us. 1032 00:44:23,240 --> 00:44:23,908 I love you. 1033 00:44:24,909 --> 00:44:26,277 - Big things, baby. 1034 00:44:26,377 --> 00:44:27,077 Big things. 1035 00:44:35,452 --> 00:44:37,087 - Hello, Thomas. 1036 00:44:37,188 --> 00:44:40,891 Come to the party with us, won't you? 1037 00:44:40,991 --> 00:44:42,627 - Honestly, that is terrifying. 1038 00:44:42,726 --> 00:44:44,461 But I'm not going. 1039 00:44:44,563 --> 00:44:46,297 - Oh come on, please. - Ugh. 1040 00:44:46,397 --> 00:44:48,799 - You're gonna make me get on my knees and beg? 1041 00:44:48,899 --> 00:44:50,301 - Oh, oh yeah, yeah. - Oh yeah? 1042 00:44:50,401 --> 00:44:51,969 Oh, oh yeah, oh yeah. 1043 00:44:52,069 --> 00:44:55,005 - Okay, please don't have sex in front of me again. 1044 00:44:55,105 --> 00:44:55,906 Not tonight. 1045 00:44:57,007 --> 00:44:58,108 Ew. 1046 00:44:58,209 --> 00:44:58,909 - Ugh! 1047 00:44:59,777 --> 00:45:01,680 Look at yourself. 1048 00:45:01,779 --> 00:45:03,615 Half finished bottle of chardonnay. 1049 00:45:03,714 --> 00:45:05,349 Empty bag of candy corn. 1050 00:45:05,449 --> 00:45:06,383 Cough medicine. 1051 00:45:06,483 --> 00:45:07,885 This is a cry for help. 1052 00:45:07,985 --> 00:45:09,887 - I literally have so much work to do tonight, okay? 1053 00:45:09,987 --> 00:45:11,255 I'm not going, no. 1054 00:45:11,355 --> 00:45:12,957 I'm putting my foot down. 1055 00:45:13,057 --> 00:45:14,491 - Is that you putting your foot down? 1056 00:45:14,593 --> 00:45:15,627 - Yes. 1057 00:45:15,726 --> 00:45:17,061 - Has that ever worked on me? 1058 00:45:17,161 --> 00:45:18,429 Come to the party. - Stop. 1059 00:45:18,530 --> 00:45:19,797 - Come on! 1060 00:45:19,897 --> 00:45:20,599 Is this really what you thought about 1061 00:45:20,699 --> 00:45:21,498 when you were a little boy? 1062 00:45:21,600 --> 00:45:22,900 Moving to the big city 1063 00:45:23,000 --> 00:45:24,935 so that you can work on the gayest holiday? 1064 00:45:25,035 --> 00:45:26,003 Make it make sense! 1065 00:45:26,103 --> 00:45:27,471 - Yeah, make it make sense! 1066 00:45:27,572 --> 00:45:28,939 - Come to the party. 1067 00:45:29,039 --> 00:45:30,374 - It makes sense. - You've never missed 1068 00:45:30,474 --> 00:45:32,243 Jamie's Halloween party. 1069 00:45:32,343 --> 00:45:36,247 - I know, I literally have nothing to wear, so. 1070 00:45:37,014 --> 00:45:38,315 - That's so funny, please. 1071 00:45:39,450 --> 00:45:40,751 - Come to the party. - Come to the party. 1072 00:45:40,851 --> 00:45:43,454 Come to the party. - Ugh! Okay stop, stop! 1073 00:45:45,089 --> 00:45:47,424 - Come to the party. - Get off me. 1074 00:46:18,657 --> 00:46:19,490 - So cute! - Thanks. 1075 00:46:19,591 --> 00:46:21,492 Yeah, I'm married, though. 1076 00:46:21,593 --> 00:46:22,293 - I meant the dog. 1077 00:46:22,393 --> 00:46:23,794 - I know what you meant. 1078 00:46:23,894 --> 00:46:25,195 - Who is this little guy? 1079 00:46:25,296 --> 00:46:26,297 - This is Judy. 1080 00:46:26,397 --> 00:46:27,666 - Oh yeah Judy-doody. 1081 00:46:27,766 --> 00:46:28,767 Alright, let me guess. 1082 00:46:28,866 --> 00:46:32,737 You are... Elvis. 1083 00:46:32,836 --> 00:46:33,971 - With these legs? 1084 00:46:34,071 --> 00:46:36,140 Ew, no, I'm not Elvis. 1085 00:46:36,240 --> 00:46:37,274 - Oh? 1086 00:46:37,374 --> 00:46:38,142 Okay come on. 1087 00:46:38,242 --> 00:46:39,143 - Um. 1088 00:46:39,243 --> 00:46:40,311 - Really? 1089 00:46:40,411 --> 00:46:42,747 Oh, you're Elton John! 1090 00:46:42,846 --> 00:46:44,516 Oh! 1091 00:46:44,616 --> 00:46:45,550 - Thank you. - Cheers to Elton. 1092 00:46:45,650 --> 00:46:47,284 - I know, yes. 1093 00:46:47,384 --> 00:46:48,986 - People think to be a legitimate act, 1094 00:46:49,086 --> 00:46:51,155 you have to be one on reality TV. 1095 00:46:51,255 --> 00:46:52,222 - Straight up. 1096 00:46:52,323 --> 00:46:53,424 - Commodifying drag culture doesn't elevate it, 1097 00:46:53,525 --> 00:46:55,326 it threatens its existence. 1098 00:46:55,426 --> 00:46:56,460 - Yes! - You know? 1099 00:46:56,561 --> 00:46:57,729 People want the fame. 1100 00:46:57,828 --> 00:46:58,763 They just don't understand it. 1101 00:46:58,862 --> 00:47:00,297 The fame isn't real. 1102 00:47:00,397 --> 00:47:01,700 The art is real! 1103 00:47:01,800 --> 00:47:03,735 - The art is real, yes! - Look at me! 1104 00:47:03,834 --> 00:47:04,736 Oh, look at her, hey girl! - Real. 1105 00:47:04,835 --> 00:47:06,504 Keep it alive, girl! 1106 00:47:11,075 --> 00:47:12,910 Oh my God, did you just take a picture of me? 1107 00:47:13,010 --> 00:47:15,245 - No, definitely it's, 1108 00:47:15,346 --> 00:47:16,213 I think it did. 1109 00:47:16,313 --> 00:47:17,381 I am so sorry. - Well unfortunately for you, 1110 00:47:17,481 --> 00:47:18,082 I'm a photographer, 1111 00:47:18,182 --> 00:47:19,316 and I'm also a little bit mean, 1112 00:47:19,416 --> 00:47:21,218 so I'm gonna need to see that picture. 1113 00:47:21,318 --> 00:47:23,020 - Okay, well it's probably gonna be atrocious. 1114 00:47:23,120 --> 00:47:24,656 - Oh my God, okay, come here. 1115 00:47:24,756 --> 00:47:26,223 Let the professional do it. 1116 00:47:26,323 --> 00:47:27,792 - Okay. 1117 00:47:27,891 --> 00:47:29,360 - Okay. 1118 00:47:29,460 --> 00:47:32,062 Now you have a picture of me and you. 1119 00:47:32,162 --> 00:47:33,732 I'm Thomas, by the way. 1120 00:47:33,832 --> 00:47:35,366 - It's very nice to meet you. I'm Jake. 1121 00:47:35,466 --> 00:47:36,867 - Nice to meet you, too. 1122 00:47:36,967 --> 00:47:38,035 Okay now that we've met officially, 1123 00:47:38,135 --> 00:47:40,003 I'm gonna be a little more confrontational, 1124 00:47:40,104 --> 00:47:43,006 and ask you why you took a covert photo of me? 1125 00:47:43,107 --> 00:47:46,243 - I was sending a picture to my husband 1126 00:47:46,343 --> 00:47:48,412 to see if you were Oscar Reyes' husband. 1127 00:47:48,513 --> 00:47:49,514 - Okay. 1128 00:47:49,614 --> 00:47:50,749 How do you know Oscar? 1129 00:47:50,849 --> 00:47:53,651 - I don't? 1130 00:47:53,752 --> 00:47:55,252 I just follow him. 1131 00:47:56,855 --> 00:47:59,957 I was sorry to see- - Yeah, me too. 1132 00:48:00,859 --> 00:48:01,626 - It's funny. 1133 00:48:01,726 --> 00:48:02,727 I had forgotten about Oscar 1134 00:48:02,827 --> 00:48:03,795 until he started getting coverage 1135 00:48:03,894 --> 00:48:05,496 for his gay dad posts. 1136 00:48:05,597 --> 00:48:06,865 - What is it about gay dads 1137 00:48:06,964 --> 00:48:09,400 that people find so interesting? 1138 00:48:09,500 --> 00:48:10,467 - I don't know. 1139 00:48:10,568 --> 00:48:11,201 When my daughter came along, 1140 00:48:11,301 --> 00:48:13,270 my husband and I started a vlog. 1141 00:48:13,370 --> 00:48:16,875 And now, we get millions of views on each video. 1142 00:48:16,974 --> 00:48:18,409 It's crazy. - Is everyone in LA 1143 00:48:18,510 --> 00:48:20,110 an influencer? 1144 00:48:20,210 --> 00:48:20,845 - No. 1145 00:48:20,944 --> 00:48:22,413 Well, I was an ophthalmologist. 1146 00:48:22,514 --> 00:48:24,114 - Okay, transition. 1147 00:48:24,214 --> 00:48:25,482 Did you guys adopt? 1148 00:48:25,583 --> 00:48:27,117 - No. Surrogacy. 1149 00:48:27,217 --> 00:48:29,453 - Mm, what was that like? 1150 00:48:29,554 --> 00:48:30,855 - It was interesting. 1151 00:48:30,954 --> 00:48:31,922 They have agencies that take care 1152 00:48:32,022 --> 00:48:33,357 of almost everything. 1153 00:48:33,457 --> 00:48:34,124 - Right. 1154 00:48:34,224 --> 00:48:35,959 - But it's still time consuming, 1155 00:48:36,059 --> 00:48:37,294 and it's all a bit strange 1156 00:48:37,394 --> 00:48:38,996 if you think about it too deeply. 1157 00:48:39,096 --> 00:48:41,965 But you know, it's what we have to do. 1158 00:48:42,065 --> 00:48:43,802 I'm surprised you guys haven't looked into it. 1159 00:48:43,902 --> 00:48:44,935 - We did. 1160 00:48:45,804 --> 00:48:47,772 Oscar was dead set on fostering. 1161 00:48:47,872 --> 00:48:49,607 - That must have been really rewarding. 1162 00:48:49,707 --> 00:48:51,942 - Yeah. It was. 1163 00:48:52,877 --> 00:48:53,944 - And difficult. 1164 00:48:54,879 --> 00:48:55,680 - It was. 1165 00:48:56,915 --> 00:48:57,948 - Ever thought about doing it again? 1166 00:48:58,048 --> 00:48:59,216 - No, no no. 1167 00:48:59,316 --> 00:49:00,552 Honestly, I didn't even really want to do it 1168 00:49:00,652 --> 00:49:02,119 in the first place. 1169 00:49:02,219 --> 00:49:05,489 I mean, it was so good while it lasted, right? 1170 00:49:05,590 --> 00:49:06,423 That's a thing. 1171 00:49:07,458 --> 00:49:08,292 It didn't last. 1172 00:49:10,127 --> 00:49:11,896 - If you change your mind, 1173 00:49:11,995 --> 00:49:13,964 I cannot recommend our agency enough. 1174 00:49:16,099 --> 00:49:17,401 I can give you the number. 1175 00:49:35,653 --> 00:49:37,889 - I used to dream about this life. 1176 00:49:37,988 --> 00:49:42,894 Gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, queer. 1177 00:49:43,460 --> 00:49:44,995 If I call myself gay or queer, 1178 00:49:45,095 --> 00:49:47,699 then what else can you say about me? 1179 00:49:47,799 --> 00:49:49,032 Or her? 1180 00:49:49,132 --> 00:49:50,635 Him, or them? 1181 00:49:52,637 --> 00:49:53,605 I sleep with men. 1182 00:49:54,806 --> 00:49:55,640 Is that enough? 1183 00:49:56,741 --> 00:49:59,544 What is enough? Does it matter? 1184 00:49:59,644 --> 00:50:03,247 Sometimes I think about how strange this life is. 1185 00:50:03,347 --> 00:50:05,382 The heartbreak, the pain, the joy, 1186 00:50:05,482 --> 00:50:08,586 the fight to just be included. 1187 00:50:10,454 --> 00:50:11,689 It happened. 1188 00:50:11,789 --> 00:50:13,992 I left Missouri, I got married, 1189 00:50:14,091 --> 00:50:15,325 I had a child. 1190 00:50:18,328 --> 00:50:19,831 The things I thought I gave up 1191 00:50:19,931 --> 00:50:21,933 became part of my story. 1192 00:50:22,032 --> 00:50:23,568 My gay story. 1193 00:50:24,602 --> 00:50:26,771 It wasn't what I expected, but it's mine. 1194 00:50:28,640 --> 00:50:29,641 Maybe that's enough. 1195 00:50:37,015 --> 00:50:39,216 - Tell me, what brings you in today? 1196 00:50:39,316 --> 00:50:41,853 - Honestly, my husband didn't really know I'm here, 1197 00:50:41,953 --> 00:50:45,557 so I'm just exploring opportunities. 1198 00:50:45,657 --> 00:50:46,891 - I see. 1199 00:50:46,991 --> 00:50:47,825 You're friends with Jake and Graham? 1200 00:50:47,926 --> 00:50:50,060 - I met Jake at a party. 1201 00:50:50,160 --> 00:50:51,596 - Huge success story. 1202 00:50:51,696 --> 00:50:53,096 They're featured on our website right now. 1203 00:50:53,196 --> 00:50:55,700 Little Poppy is very popular on social media. 1204 00:50:55,800 --> 00:50:56,868 - What? 1205 00:50:56,968 --> 00:50:59,336 This is all very new to me. 1206 00:50:59,436 --> 00:51:01,371 - Well, it's a relatively new industry. 1207 00:51:01,471 --> 00:51:02,439 Now that we've got gay marriage, 1208 00:51:02,540 --> 00:51:03,908 gay couples are feeling really empowered 1209 00:51:04,008 --> 00:51:05,442 to become fathers. 1210 00:51:05,543 --> 00:51:07,077 - Okay, so how does this all work? 1211 00:51:07,177 --> 00:51:08,412 - Well, we take care of everything. 1212 00:51:08,513 --> 00:51:10,615 Everything except for the sperm. 1213 00:51:10,715 --> 00:51:11,916 That part's on you. 1214 00:51:12,016 --> 00:51:13,851 Though we can deal with anything, 1215 00:51:13,952 --> 00:51:15,053 if there's any sort of an issue. 1216 00:51:15,152 --> 00:51:17,922 - No, I got plenty of that. 1217 00:51:18,022 --> 00:51:18,856 - Oh, okay. 1218 00:51:18,957 --> 00:51:21,391 - I mean, like a normal amount. 1219 00:51:21,491 --> 00:51:22,459 - It's fine. - It's totally normal. 1220 00:51:22,560 --> 00:51:23,226 - It's fine. 1221 00:51:24,494 --> 00:51:25,897 - How much does this cost? 1222 00:51:25,997 --> 00:51:26,731 - Depends on the package you pick, 1223 00:51:26,831 --> 00:51:29,000 but base pricing starts at about $150,000. 1224 00:51:29,099 --> 00:51:30,735 - Uh? - I know, 1225 00:51:30,835 --> 00:51:32,469 but honestly, becoming a father, 1226 00:51:32,570 --> 00:51:33,771 that's priceless. 1227 00:51:33,871 --> 00:51:34,939 - Is it? 1228 00:51:35,039 --> 00:51:36,574 - Well, let's find out if you're fertile. 1229 00:51:40,210 --> 00:51:40,812 - Hello? 1230 00:51:42,013 --> 00:51:45,315 Uh, let me clean up a little first. 1231 00:51:47,184 --> 00:51:48,987 You will put your specimen in this cup. 1232 00:51:49,087 --> 00:51:49,954 Try your best to get it all in here, 1233 00:51:50,054 --> 00:51:51,923 and if you miss, please tell me. 1234 00:51:52,023 --> 00:51:53,256 I don't like surprises. 1235 00:51:53,357 --> 00:51:54,792 Use this to browse any videos. 1236 00:51:54,892 --> 00:51:56,561 If you'd like some assistance with the process, 1237 00:51:56,661 --> 00:51:58,796 we have three folders, domestic, Asian, and gay. 1238 00:51:58,896 --> 00:52:01,633 And yes, the gay category does include Asian content. 1239 00:52:01,733 --> 00:52:03,601 - Uh, thank you. 1240 00:52:03,701 --> 00:52:04,802 - Okay, have fun. 1241 00:52:05,803 --> 00:52:07,805 Oh, almost forgot. 1242 00:52:13,310 --> 00:52:14,344 - What is that? 1243 00:52:14,444 --> 00:52:16,047 - It's a puppy pad. 1244 00:52:16,146 --> 00:52:17,115 - A puppy pad. 1245 00:52:17,214 --> 00:52:18,482 - You sit on it. 1246 00:52:18,583 --> 00:52:19,517 - For me. 1247 00:52:19,617 --> 00:52:20,752 - Trust me, you want the puppy pad. 1248 00:52:23,220 --> 00:52:26,791 Enjoy! 1249 00:52:34,032 --> 00:52:35,633 - What even is domestic porn? 1250 00:52:37,669 --> 00:52:38,435 Just white people. 1251 00:52:46,811 --> 00:52:48,012 - Oh hey Karen. 1252 00:52:48,112 --> 00:52:49,312 - Hey. - Oh, Karen. 1253 00:52:49,413 --> 00:52:50,715 - Oh hey, did the bleeding stop? 1254 00:52:50,815 --> 00:52:52,382 - Finally, yeah. 1255 00:52:52,482 --> 00:52:53,651 That medicine seems to be helping, 1256 00:52:53,751 --> 00:52:56,453 but you wouldn't believe the discharge. 1257 00:52:57,421 --> 00:52:58,890 - Oh my God. - Pregnancy, right? 1258 00:52:58,990 --> 00:53:00,424 What a gift. 1259 00:53:00,525 --> 00:53:03,528 Alright, I'll be down there. - Okay. 1260 00:53:04,494 --> 00:53:05,328 I'm- 1261 00:53:10,500 --> 00:53:13,705 Ok. 1262 00:53:13,805 --> 00:53:15,439 - Keep going. 1263 00:53:15,540 --> 00:53:17,240 Oh, you're gonna make me cum. 1264 00:53:17,340 --> 00:53:19,911 - Already? 1265 00:53:20,011 --> 00:53:21,244 Are you cumming? 1266 00:53:37,729 --> 00:53:39,697 - Mr. Reid, you doing okay in there? 1267 00:53:42,232 --> 00:53:44,367 - Just my luck. 1268 00:53:46,537 --> 00:53:48,973 Okay Paul, this is very serious, yes. 1269 00:53:49,073 --> 00:53:50,641 Mime, next. 1270 00:53:50,742 --> 00:53:51,743 Lasso. 1271 00:53:51,843 --> 00:53:53,243 Equestrian. 1272 00:53:53,343 --> 00:53:54,311 Bareback. 1273 00:53:54,411 --> 00:53:56,147 - Bareback? - What? 1274 00:53:56,246 --> 00:53:57,882 - I could use your help here! 1275 00:53:57,982 --> 00:53:59,249 Horseback riding. 1276 00:53:59,349 --> 00:54:00,151 - Yes! - Yes. 1277 00:54:00,250 --> 00:54:01,652 - Ugh. 1278 00:54:01,753 --> 00:54:04,287 - Oh. - Come on come on come on. 1279 00:54:04,387 --> 00:54:06,057 Sweeping, chimney. 1280 00:54:06,157 --> 00:54:07,725 - You can't do sounds! 1281 00:54:07,825 --> 00:54:08,860 - Shh! 1282 00:54:08,960 --> 00:54:09,894 Ice cream! 1283 00:54:09,994 --> 00:54:12,196 Ice scraper? 1284 00:54:12,295 --> 00:54:13,931 Ah, next, pass! 1285 00:54:16,801 --> 00:54:17,869 I got you. 1286 00:54:17,969 --> 00:54:20,171 Ballet. No? 1287 00:54:20,270 --> 00:54:21,639 Prima donna. 1288 00:54:21,739 --> 00:54:22,439 Black Swan. 1289 00:54:22,540 --> 00:54:23,508 - Black Swan's a great movie. 1290 00:54:23,608 --> 00:54:24,809 - Natalie Portman as Black Swan! 1291 00:54:24,909 --> 00:54:26,276 - Time's almost up. 1292 00:54:26,376 --> 00:54:27,812 - Ah! Shoes. 1293 00:54:27,912 --> 00:54:28,846 If the shoe fits. 1294 00:54:28,946 --> 00:54:29,814 - Hey, guys. 1295 00:54:29,914 --> 00:54:32,315 Don't Paul's legs look amazing right now? 1296 00:54:32,415 --> 00:54:33,618 - Time. - His calves are unreal. 1297 00:54:33,718 --> 00:54:35,418 - That's time, I'm done. - High heels. 1298 00:54:35,520 --> 00:54:36,754 It was high heels. 1299 00:54:36,854 --> 00:54:38,321 - Okay, final score. - High heels? 1300 00:54:38,421 --> 00:54:41,025 - I'm sorry. I'm sorry. - Hot girls, eight. 1301 00:54:41,125 --> 00:54:44,195 Smelly boys, oh, six. 1302 00:54:44,294 --> 00:54:45,863 - Stop! - Ugh. 1303 00:54:45,963 --> 00:54:46,764 That was so fun. 1304 00:54:46,864 --> 00:54:47,865 You were really great. - I was, huh? 1305 00:54:47,965 --> 00:54:49,066 - You were, you were great. 1306 00:54:49,167 --> 00:54:50,067 - Okay, who wants pie? 1307 00:54:50,168 --> 00:54:51,368 - Thanks. - Oh, I want pie. 1308 00:54:51,468 --> 00:54:52,970 - I'll take some water too, geeze. 1309 00:54:55,139 --> 00:54:56,174 - So Paul seems nice. 1310 00:54:56,274 --> 00:54:58,676 - Yeah, too bad he sucks at charades. 1311 00:54:58,776 --> 00:55:02,379 - So, who's gonna break the news to him? 1312 00:55:02,479 --> 00:55:04,682 That we're all out of town for Thanksgiving. 1313 00:55:04,782 --> 00:55:06,818 - Oh I told Sonia she had to do it. 1314 00:55:06,918 --> 00:55:09,520 People find it very hard to be angry with her. 1315 00:55:09,620 --> 00:55:11,189 - It's true, very hard. 1316 00:55:11,289 --> 00:55:12,623 Yeah, that's what he said. 1317 00:55:13,524 --> 00:55:14,792 - Now, has Jamie, 1318 00:55:14,892 --> 00:55:15,793 you mentioned he was on his third date. 1319 00:55:15,893 --> 00:55:18,262 Has he ever dated anybody this long? 1320 00:55:18,361 --> 00:55:19,931 - I mean, there was that one time 1321 00:55:20,031 --> 00:55:21,265 he was catfished by someone 1322 00:55:21,364 --> 00:55:23,433 who was pretending to be Lance Bass. 1323 00:55:23,534 --> 00:55:24,535 - That's terrible. 1324 00:55:24,635 --> 00:55:26,737 - Please, don't feel bad for him. 1325 00:55:26,838 --> 00:55:29,106 Apparently he slept with Lance a couple weeks later. 1326 00:55:29,207 --> 00:55:30,473 - Oh! 1327 00:55:30,575 --> 00:55:33,244 - So is your family coming to LA for Thanksgiving? 1328 00:55:33,343 --> 00:55:34,979 - Uh, no. 1329 00:55:35,079 --> 00:55:36,113 But it's gonna be fine. 1330 00:55:37,215 --> 00:55:38,216 - What does that mean? 1331 00:55:38,316 --> 00:55:40,117 - Oh, okay. 1332 00:55:40,218 --> 00:55:42,485 - Pie pie pie pie pie! 1333 00:55:42,587 --> 00:55:43,453 Thank you. - For you. 1334 00:55:43,554 --> 00:55:44,354 - Oh, it's small. 1335 00:55:44,454 --> 00:55:45,488 - So, Texas? 1336 00:55:49,227 --> 00:55:50,628 Going to Texas for Thanksgiving. 1337 00:55:50,728 --> 00:55:51,863 - What? 1338 00:55:51,963 --> 00:55:53,931 - When were you gonna tell me? 1339 00:55:54,031 --> 00:55:55,132 - Right now. 1340 00:55:55,233 --> 00:55:56,834 - You're not telling me. 1341 00:55:56,934 --> 00:55:58,002 Sonia's telling me. 1342 00:55:58,102 --> 00:55:59,303 - I know, aren't you mad at her? 1343 00:55:59,402 --> 00:56:01,572 - No, that's literally impossible. 1344 00:56:01,672 --> 00:56:02,472 - I know. 1345 00:56:02,573 --> 00:56:04,542 - Why didn't you tell me sooner? 1346 00:56:04,642 --> 00:56:07,111 - Ugh, we didn't know how to! 1347 00:56:07,211 --> 00:56:08,346 - Okay. 1348 00:56:08,445 --> 00:56:09,914 - 'Cause of this. - Awesome. 1349 00:56:10,014 --> 00:56:11,749 Alright, Jamie, it's gonna be you and me. 1350 00:56:11,849 --> 00:56:13,951 Thanksgiving dinner at my place. 1351 00:56:15,019 --> 00:56:17,188 - Actually, Paul has a chalet in Aspen. 1352 00:56:17,288 --> 00:56:18,856 - What? You hate the cold. 1353 00:56:18,956 --> 00:56:20,358 - I like chalets. 1354 00:56:20,490 --> 00:56:22,927 - Come on, we always spend Thanksgiving together. 1355 00:56:23,027 --> 00:56:24,729 This is like what we do. 1356 00:56:24,829 --> 00:56:28,165 This feels like a big gay family divorce, or something. 1357 00:56:28,266 --> 00:56:29,499 - It's just this year. 1358 00:56:29,600 --> 00:56:30,835 - I would ask you to come with, 1359 00:56:30,935 --> 00:56:34,138 but I'm pretty sure Paul is gonna pop the question. 1360 00:56:34,238 --> 00:56:35,172 - Not marriage. 1361 00:56:35,273 --> 00:56:37,008 - No, threesome. 1362 00:56:37,108 --> 00:56:38,676 - Ugh! 1363 00:56:38,776 --> 00:56:40,177 - Hey, why don't you go to Michigan? 1364 00:56:40,278 --> 00:56:41,444 - No. 1365 00:56:41,545 --> 00:56:42,479 - It might be good to get away for a while. 1366 00:56:42,580 --> 00:56:43,948 - No Michigan, okay? 1367 00:56:45,149 --> 00:56:46,651 Oscar's apparently coming here. 1368 00:56:46,751 --> 00:56:48,753 He has, like, press to do. 1369 00:56:48,853 --> 00:56:50,121 - That's fun. 1370 00:56:50,221 --> 00:56:51,322 - That's exciting. 1371 00:56:51,421 --> 00:56:53,423 - I think it's fun. - Shh. 1372 00:56:55,860 --> 00:56:57,795 - I don't get why I got the smallest piece. 1373 00:56:57,895 --> 00:56:59,764 - I'm going to throw this pie 1374 00:56:59,864 --> 00:57:01,933 in all of your faces right now. 1375 00:57:02,033 --> 00:57:05,303 - No! - Not the rug! 1376 00:57:08,471 --> 00:57:10,141 - Did you get a turkey? 1377 00:57:11,709 --> 00:57:14,578 - You know the butcher, he's a fan. 1378 00:57:14,679 --> 00:57:15,947 - That's great. Did he give you a turkey? 1379 00:57:16,047 --> 00:57:17,515 - And his parents took him to a taping 1380 00:57:17,615 --> 00:57:18,983 when he was 10 years old. 1381 00:57:19,083 --> 00:57:20,284 - What are you doing, are you avoiding my question? 1382 00:57:20,384 --> 00:57:21,786 - You bet. 1383 00:57:21,886 --> 00:57:23,554 - How many grocery stores are we gonna go to? 1384 00:57:23,654 --> 00:57:25,389 That's three, and not a single turkey. 1385 00:57:25,488 --> 00:57:26,791 - What do you expect? 1386 00:57:26,891 --> 00:57:28,192 It's the day before Thanksgiving. 1387 00:57:28,292 --> 00:57:31,095 - Oh okay, so now we're being passive aggressive. 1388 00:57:31,195 --> 00:57:33,230 Why don't you just say that I ruined everything, 1389 00:57:33,331 --> 00:57:34,265 and Thanksgiving is dead? 1390 00:57:34,365 --> 00:57:35,633 - If I was being passive aggressive, 1391 00:57:35,733 --> 00:57:36,534 I would've said something like, 1392 00:57:36,634 --> 00:57:37,935 "Gee, it would've been nice 1393 00:57:38,035 --> 00:57:40,371 if we had shopped a few days earlier, but-" 1394 00:57:40,470 --> 00:57:41,939 - How is that any different? 1395 00:57:42,039 --> 00:57:44,275 That's like exactly what you just said. 1396 00:57:44,375 --> 00:57:45,876 - I don't even like turkey. 1397 00:57:46,978 --> 00:57:48,813 - You literally told Audie Cornish at NPR 1398 00:57:48,913 --> 00:57:51,481 that you were most excited about the turkey. 1399 00:57:53,117 --> 00:57:54,852 - You listened to that? 1400 00:57:55,820 --> 00:57:57,655 - I listen to everything that you do. 1401 00:57:58,488 --> 00:58:00,391 - What else could I say? 1402 00:58:00,524 --> 00:58:02,326 Thanksgiving food sucks. 1403 00:58:02,426 --> 00:58:04,829 - Oh, okay. 1404 00:58:04,929 --> 00:58:06,430 - No. - Now she hates my cooking. 1405 00:58:06,530 --> 00:58:07,932 - That's not what I meant. 1406 00:58:08,032 --> 00:58:09,567 You know, I mean, I would rather have a steak. 1407 00:58:09,667 --> 00:58:10,401 - I'm done. 1408 00:58:10,500 --> 00:58:12,370 - Come on. 1409 00:58:12,470 --> 00:58:13,938 - Find everything okay? 1410 00:58:14,038 --> 00:58:15,139 - Not a turkey. 1411 00:58:15,239 --> 00:58:17,141 - This line is 15 items or less. 1412 00:58:17,241 --> 00:58:18,075 It's the express lane. 1413 00:58:19,176 --> 00:58:19,777 - Excuse me? 1414 00:58:19,877 --> 00:58:21,178 - You have too many items. 1415 00:58:21,278 --> 00:58:22,179 They have too many items. 1416 00:58:22,279 --> 00:58:24,115 Over 30, I counted. 1417 00:58:24,215 --> 00:58:25,549 - Um okay, I'm sorry. 1418 00:58:25,649 --> 00:58:26,484 We didn't see the sign. 1419 00:58:26,584 --> 00:58:27,752 It's fine. 1420 00:58:27,852 --> 00:58:29,053 Is it okay if we just keep, thank you. 1421 00:58:29,153 --> 00:58:30,321 - Of course it's not okay. 1422 00:58:30,421 --> 00:58:31,489 There's a sign. 1423 00:58:31,589 --> 00:58:33,324 - Okay, would you like to go in front of us? 1424 00:58:33,424 --> 00:58:34,625 - Get in another line. 1425 00:58:34,725 --> 00:58:36,527 - We're not getting in another line, okay? 1426 00:58:36,627 --> 00:58:38,829 We're already checking out, but thank you. 1427 00:58:38,929 --> 00:58:39,897 - I'm sorry, the last thing I want 1428 00:58:39,997 --> 00:58:42,333 is to end up on the local news. 1429 00:58:42,433 --> 00:58:43,601 - Okay, so you know what? 1430 00:58:43,701 --> 00:58:45,436 It's okay, we can go to another line. 1431 00:58:45,536 --> 00:58:46,470 - We can't- - It's fine. 1432 00:58:46,570 --> 00:58:47,738 - It's gonna take us an hour. 1433 00:58:47,838 --> 00:58:49,807 - It's not worth fighting over tonight. 1434 00:58:49,907 --> 00:58:50,908 I'm not doing this. - Okay just start 1435 00:58:51,008 --> 00:58:51,675 checking us out, okay? 1436 00:58:51,776 --> 00:58:52,910 We're scanning items. 1437 00:58:53,010 --> 00:58:54,311 This is gonna be over with. - Sir, this is not okay. 1438 00:58:54,412 --> 00:58:55,479 - Thomas, what are you doing? 1439 00:58:55,579 --> 00:58:56,881 What are you doing? This is not okay, really. 1440 00:58:56,981 --> 00:58:58,849 I mean, sorry. 1441 00:58:58,949 --> 00:59:01,152 We're gonna take it somewhere else. 1442 00:59:01,252 --> 00:59:02,119 - Okay. 1443 00:59:03,687 --> 00:59:06,157 - Waste of my time, bitch. 1444 00:59:09,393 --> 00:59:10,428 - You're welcome! 1445 00:59:10,529 --> 00:59:12,196 I hope everyone enjoyed the show. 1446 00:59:12,296 --> 00:59:13,130 Excuse me. 1447 00:59:14,432 --> 00:59:15,166 Yes, please. - Can you stop that? 1448 00:59:15,266 --> 00:59:16,200 Thank you. 1449 00:59:16,300 --> 00:59:17,536 - Happy Thanksgiving. 1450 00:59:17,635 --> 00:59:18,702 - Ugh! 1451 00:59:36,320 --> 00:59:37,888 - Just leave that for Carla in the morning. 1452 00:59:37,988 --> 00:59:39,290 - I gave Carla the day off tomorrow. 1453 00:59:39,390 --> 00:59:39,990 - Why? 1454 00:59:41,225 --> 00:59:42,993 - Well, 'cause it's the day after Thanksgiving. 1455 00:59:44,161 --> 00:59:45,896 - I hope we're not still paying her. 1456 00:59:46,764 --> 00:59:48,432 - Babe, it's a holiday. 1457 00:59:48,533 --> 00:59:50,468 - No, today is the holiday. 1458 00:59:50,569 --> 00:59:52,670 Tomorrow is Friday. 1459 00:59:54,004 --> 00:59:55,540 - Do you really think we need Carla to come 1460 00:59:55,639 --> 00:59:56,974 three times a week? 1461 00:59:57,074 --> 00:59:59,477 I mean, I'm home most of the time. 1462 00:59:59,578 --> 01:00:00,811 I can manage myself. 1463 01:00:00,911 --> 01:00:02,179 - Yeah, but surely there's something 1464 01:00:02,279 --> 01:00:04,882 more interesting you could be doing with that time. 1465 01:00:05,916 --> 01:00:09,120 - You know what? I think there is. 1466 01:00:09,220 --> 01:00:09,887 Okay. 1467 01:00:11,789 --> 01:00:14,526 I went to this place last week, 1468 01:00:14,658 --> 01:00:17,695 and I'm looking at options for us. 1469 01:00:18,329 --> 01:00:19,763 - Surrogacy? 1470 01:00:19,864 --> 01:00:21,966 - Babe, I think we owe it to ourselves 1471 01:00:22,066 --> 01:00:25,903 to make a meaningful decision about this. 1472 01:00:26,003 --> 01:00:26,904 Come on! 1473 01:00:28,005 --> 01:00:29,574 I just want to make sure we mean it 1474 01:00:29,673 --> 01:00:31,709 when we say we don't want to be dads anymore. 1475 01:00:31,809 --> 01:00:33,644 - Well, I don't need to do that. 1476 01:00:33,744 --> 01:00:36,046 - That doesn't mean that I don't. 1477 01:00:36,147 --> 01:00:38,749 - Where is this coming from, Thomas? 1478 01:00:38,849 --> 01:00:39,984 It was only like weeks ago 1479 01:00:40,084 --> 01:00:41,318 you said you never wanted kids again. 1480 01:00:41,418 --> 01:00:43,154 - I know, okay? I know. 1481 01:00:43,254 --> 01:00:47,324 It feels like everyone in my life 1482 01:00:47,424 --> 01:00:50,961 is either talking about kids, or having kids, 1483 01:00:51,061 --> 01:00:54,431 or going to the ends of the earth 1484 01:00:54,533 --> 01:00:55,366 to try to make a family. 1485 01:00:55,466 --> 01:00:57,768 And I just- 1486 01:00:57,868 --> 01:01:00,605 There's all these signs from the universe right now, 1487 01:01:00,704 --> 01:01:02,006 and it's just- - Signs from the universe, 1488 01:01:02,106 --> 01:01:02,940 really? 1489 01:01:03,040 --> 01:01:04,576 Come on, are you listening to yourself? 1490 01:01:04,675 --> 01:01:05,644 - Yes. - Thomas. 1491 01:01:05,743 --> 01:01:07,244 - I'm listening to myself, okay? 1492 01:01:07,344 --> 01:01:09,713 And there's this little voice inside my head 1493 01:01:09,813 --> 01:01:13,484 that keeps telling me that we're making a mistake. 1494 01:01:13,585 --> 01:01:14,919 You don't feel that at all? 1495 01:01:16,387 --> 01:01:17,922 - No. 1496 01:01:18,022 --> 01:01:18,623 - How? 1497 01:01:18,722 --> 01:01:20,491 - What do you mean how? 1498 01:01:20,592 --> 01:01:23,494 We have so much to look forward to. 1499 01:01:23,595 --> 01:01:25,630 - What, going to Michigan? 1500 01:01:25,729 --> 01:01:27,331 Leaving all my friends behind. 1501 01:01:27,431 --> 01:01:29,733 Just sitting at home, alone, 1502 01:01:29,833 --> 01:01:31,468 while you work all day? - Wow. 1503 01:01:31,570 --> 01:01:32,803 Your life must be so hard. 1504 01:01:32,903 --> 01:01:34,805 - Okay, I'm not trying to like, 1505 01:01:34,905 --> 01:01:36,840 make you feel sorry for me. 1506 01:01:36,941 --> 01:01:38,909 - But it's not all about you, Thomas. 1507 01:01:39,009 --> 01:01:40,512 Do you know how long I've been waiting 1508 01:01:40,612 --> 01:01:43,380 for a break in my career like this one? 1509 01:01:43,480 --> 01:01:44,815 - That's not how a marriage works. 1510 01:01:44,915 --> 01:01:47,384 - 20 years, 20! 1511 01:01:47,484 --> 01:01:49,654 It's my turn now, Thomas! 1512 01:01:49,753 --> 01:01:52,890 - Just walk and chew gum at the same time! 1513 01:01:52,990 --> 01:01:55,694 I'm not saying that you can't work 1514 01:01:55,793 --> 01:01:56,727 if we have a kid in our lives. 1515 01:01:56,827 --> 01:01:57,728 - You don't understand. 1516 01:01:57,828 --> 01:01:59,797 You really don't get it. 1517 01:02:00,931 --> 01:02:03,400 - I'm just trying to be honest with you. 1518 01:02:03,500 --> 01:02:04,501 - You want to be honest? 1519 01:02:04,603 --> 01:02:05,469 - Yeah. 1520 01:02:05,570 --> 01:02:06,870 - Okay. 1521 01:02:06,971 --> 01:02:08,906 Anyone with half a brain knows what this is. 1522 01:02:10,274 --> 01:02:11,075 - What is this? 1523 01:02:13,477 --> 01:02:15,079 - You are preoccupied 1524 01:02:15,179 --> 01:02:17,248 with the anniversary of your dad's death. 1525 01:02:19,083 --> 01:02:19,984 - Wow. 1526 01:02:21,285 --> 01:02:22,554 Okay. 1527 01:02:22,654 --> 01:02:24,623 Alright, it's just that simple, huh? 1528 01:02:24,723 --> 01:02:25,724 - Well come on, don't be like that. 1529 01:02:25,823 --> 01:02:27,157 Don't be so self-righteous, Thomas. 1530 01:02:27,258 --> 01:02:29,927 - Thank God you have this all figured out. 1531 01:02:30,027 --> 01:02:32,062 - 30 years after the anniversary 1532 01:02:32,162 --> 01:02:33,897 of your dad's unexpected death, 1533 01:02:33,998 --> 01:02:36,100 and you are trying to cope with the feeling 1534 01:02:36,200 --> 01:02:38,536 that you may never get to be a better dad than he was. 1535 01:02:38,637 --> 01:02:39,903 - Wow. - The story 1536 01:02:40,004 --> 01:02:40,739 just writes itself. 1537 01:02:40,838 --> 01:02:41,839 - So what? 1538 01:02:42,641 --> 01:02:43,575 So what, fine. 1539 01:02:43,675 --> 01:02:45,142 Even if all of that is true, 1540 01:02:46,578 --> 01:02:48,979 does that somehow diminish how I'm feeling right now? 1541 01:02:50,515 --> 01:02:52,916 Is my doubt less valid than your certainty is? 1542 01:02:54,184 --> 01:02:55,853 - What do you want from me? 1543 01:02:56,521 --> 01:02:57,321 - Babe. 1544 01:02:58,523 --> 01:03:00,558 I'm trying to bring you into this conversation. 1545 01:03:00,659 --> 01:03:01,892 - But I don't want to be brought in. 1546 01:03:01,992 --> 01:03:04,562 I don't want to be a father, I don't! 1547 01:03:05,896 --> 01:03:07,532 I don't want this for me. 1548 01:03:07,632 --> 01:03:10,702 I am too old for this. 1549 01:03:10,801 --> 01:03:12,637 I don't want to be an old dad. 1550 01:03:12,737 --> 01:03:14,271 And I'm gonna be working all the time. 1551 01:03:14,371 --> 01:03:16,508 I don't want to be an absent dad. 1552 01:03:18,208 --> 01:03:22,813 If you feel compelled to look at this, then do it. 1553 01:03:22,913 --> 01:03:24,114 But know that you're not doing this for us, 1554 01:03:24,214 --> 01:03:25,583 you're doing this for you. 1555 01:03:25,684 --> 01:03:27,084 - And what does that mean for us? 1556 01:03:28,819 --> 01:03:29,920 What are you saying? 1557 01:03:36,561 --> 01:03:37,928 - Figure it out. 1558 01:03:43,735 --> 01:03:44,569 - Wow. 1559 01:03:52,242 --> 01:03:55,145 I was thinking today about my life. 1560 01:03:55,245 --> 01:03:56,581 The only life I'll ever have. 1561 01:03:57,915 --> 01:04:00,685 My dad died on a Tuesday in November. 1562 01:04:00,785 --> 01:04:03,220 The sky was a sad Fall blue. 1563 01:04:03,320 --> 01:04:05,657 Two days later, my mom met with their lawyer. 1564 01:04:05,757 --> 01:04:09,627 That's when she discovered that my dad had another house. 1565 01:04:09,728 --> 01:04:11,362 Another woman. 1566 01:04:11,462 --> 01:04:12,496 Her name was Caroline. 1567 01:04:13,997 --> 01:04:16,367 My mom didn't leave her bedroom for two days. 1568 01:04:16,467 --> 01:04:19,970 My grandpa said her heart had been obliterated. 1569 01:04:20,070 --> 01:04:22,741 I had to look that word up in our dictionary. 1570 01:04:22,841 --> 01:04:23,974 This was obliterated. 1571 01:04:25,142 --> 01:04:26,944 This was obliterated. 1572 01:04:27,945 --> 01:04:29,179 A week later at the funeral, 1573 01:04:29,279 --> 01:04:32,116 my mom and I greeted every single person who came. 1574 01:04:33,585 --> 01:04:34,686 When I met Caroline, 1575 01:04:34,786 --> 01:04:36,755 she hugged me for a long time, 1576 01:04:36,855 --> 01:04:38,222 and looked me in the eyes. 1577 01:04:38,322 --> 01:04:39,957 She told me I had his smile. 1578 01:04:41,693 --> 01:04:42,493 And she cried. 1579 01:04:43,994 --> 01:04:45,362 When she met my mom, 1580 01:04:45,462 --> 01:04:46,664 they grasped hands. 1581 01:04:48,666 --> 01:04:49,466 There were no words. 1582 01:04:53,538 --> 01:04:54,471 It was forgiveness. 1583 01:04:56,106 --> 01:04:58,008 My mom gave a eulogy at the funeral. 1584 01:04:58,108 --> 01:05:00,144 She quoted a scene from "Angels in America," 1585 01:05:00,244 --> 01:05:01,679 which she had featured recently 1586 01:05:01,780 --> 01:05:03,013 at an exhibit at her library. 1587 01:05:04,148 --> 01:05:06,818 She said, "In your experience of the world, 1588 01:05:06,917 --> 01:05:08,787 how do people change? 1589 01:05:08,887 --> 01:05:10,688 Well, it has something to do with God, 1590 01:05:10,789 --> 01:05:12,956 so it's not very nice. 1591 01:05:13,056 --> 01:05:15,459 God splits the skin with a jagged thumbnail 1592 01:05:15,560 --> 01:05:17,261 from throat to belly, 1593 01:05:17,361 --> 01:05:20,230 and then plunges a huge filthy hand in. 1594 01:05:21,231 --> 01:05:23,601 He grabs hold of your bloody tubes, 1595 01:05:23,701 --> 01:05:25,837 and they slip to evade his grasp. 1596 01:05:25,936 --> 01:05:27,906 But he squeezes, hard. 1597 01:05:28,005 --> 01:05:31,041 He insists, he pulls and pulls 1598 01:05:31,141 --> 01:05:33,310 'til all your innards are yanked out, 1599 01:05:33,410 --> 01:05:34,244 and the pain, 1600 01:05:35,880 --> 01:05:37,381 we can't even talk about that. 1601 01:05:40,217 --> 01:05:41,886 And then he stuffs them back. 1602 01:05:41,985 --> 01:05:43,954 Dirty, tangled and torn. 1603 01:05:45,422 --> 01:05:47,191 It's up to you to do the stitching. 1604 01:05:49,993 --> 01:05:51,629 - Look at the trees, look at that one. 1605 01:05:51,729 --> 01:05:52,630 That looks like a nice tree. 1606 01:05:52,730 --> 01:05:53,731 You want one like that? 1607 01:06:00,805 --> 01:06:01,739 Thomas. - Hey Ted. 1608 01:06:01,840 --> 01:06:03,307 - Hey, nice surprise. 1609 01:06:03,407 --> 01:06:04,475 You out buying a tree, too? 1610 01:06:04,576 --> 01:06:05,108 - I am, yeah. 1611 01:06:05,209 --> 01:06:06,376 I just picked one out. 1612 01:06:06,477 --> 01:06:07,512 - Oh where is it? 1613 01:06:07,612 --> 01:06:09,681 - I'm actually getting it delivered later tonight. 1614 01:06:09,781 --> 01:06:11,048 - Christmas tree delivery. 1615 01:06:11,148 --> 01:06:12,216 So it's a bougie Christmas. 1616 01:06:12,316 --> 01:06:13,183 - It is. 1617 01:06:13,283 --> 01:06:14,451 - I remember when I was a kid, 1618 01:06:14,552 --> 01:06:15,653 we would drive out to the Christmas tree farm, 1619 01:06:15,753 --> 01:06:16,621 and cut one down ourselves. 1620 01:06:16,721 --> 01:06:18,055 - The best. - Drive home, 1621 01:06:18,155 --> 01:06:19,022 me and my brothers hanging out the window, 1622 01:06:19,122 --> 01:06:20,357 trying to keep it on the roof of the car. 1623 01:06:20,457 --> 01:06:21,593 - Yeah. 1624 01:06:21,693 --> 01:06:23,060 - I think that's why I have to get a real tree every year. 1625 01:06:23,160 --> 01:06:24,662 It reminds me of them. 1626 01:06:24,762 --> 01:06:25,763 - Oh my God, me too. 1627 01:06:27,264 --> 01:06:30,000 My husband Oscar thinks it's absolutely ridiculous. 1628 01:06:30,100 --> 01:06:31,936 - I have an ex who would say it was grotesque 1629 01:06:32,035 --> 01:06:33,437 to kill a tree. 1630 01:06:34,506 --> 01:06:35,640 I'm pretty sure he was in that sex cult, though. 1631 01:06:35,740 --> 01:06:36,541 So what does he know? 1632 01:06:36,641 --> 01:06:38,543 - A sex cult. - It was a whole thing. 1633 01:06:38,643 --> 01:06:40,512 And so we're, hey, buddy! 1634 01:06:40,612 --> 01:06:42,179 You want to say hi? 1635 01:06:42,279 --> 01:06:43,280 - Hey, Huck. - Hi. 1636 01:06:43,380 --> 01:06:44,181 - Good to see you, bud. 1637 01:06:44,281 --> 01:06:45,048 - Did you find a tree? 1638 01:06:45,148 --> 01:06:46,049 - Yeah yeah, this one! 1639 01:06:46,149 --> 01:06:47,050 - Oh okay, excuse us one second. 1640 01:06:47,150 --> 01:06:48,051 - Oh yeah. - This one here? 1641 01:06:48,151 --> 01:06:49,419 - No, that one. - This one. 1642 01:06:49,521 --> 01:06:50,755 - That one. - This big one here? 1643 01:06:50,855 --> 01:06:52,155 - Yeah. - Okay. 1644 01:06:52,256 --> 01:06:55,125 So Huck picked possibly the biggest tree on the lot. 1645 01:06:55,225 --> 01:06:56,961 We're just up the street. 1646 01:06:57,060 --> 01:06:58,495 Do you mind helping us carry it over there? 1647 01:06:58,596 --> 01:06:59,564 - Yeah, totally. - Thank you so much. 1648 01:06:59,664 --> 01:07:00,497 You're a lifesaver. 1649 01:07:00,598 --> 01:07:02,099 Alright buddy, let's get this tree. 1650 01:07:02,199 --> 01:07:04,501 Did you look at it good? Did you see the top? 1651 01:07:04,602 --> 01:07:05,603 - You have no idea? 1652 01:07:05,703 --> 01:07:06,905 - I don't. 1653 01:07:07,005 --> 01:07:08,071 - Come on, you gotta pick one thing. 1654 01:07:08,171 --> 01:07:09,541 - Alright buddy, you ready? 1655 01:07:09,641 --> 01:07:10,542 - Ready. 1656 01:07:10,642 --> 01:07:11,441 - Here we go! 1657 01:07:11,543 --> 01:07:12,577 - Yay! - Yay! 1658 01:07:12,677 --> 01:07:13,978 Alright give me the star, give me the star. 1659 01:07:14,077 --> 01:07:15,178 - Wow. - Thank you. 1660 01:07:15,279 --> 01:07:17,414 - You and Huck make a very good team. 1661 01:07:17,515 --> 01:07:19,584 - Hear that Huck? We make a pretty stellar team. 1662 01:07:19,684 --> 01:07:20,752 - Do you mind if I- 1663 01:07:20,852 --> 01:07:22,052 - Oh no, we should be so lucky. 1664 01:07:22,152 --> 01:07:23,821 Sit up, look at the star, look at the star. 1665 01:07:23,922 --> 01:07:25,322 Alright we got the star, now what? 1666 01:07:25,422 --> 01:07:29,027 - Asteroids and planets and rocket ships! 1667 01:07:29,159 --> 01:07:30,127 - Rocket ships. 1668 01:07:30,227 --> 01:07:32,095 Grr, I don't think so! 1669 01:08:09,734 --> 01:08:10,702 - Bounce! 1670 01:08:10,802 --> 01:08:11,736 Bounce! 1671 01:08:11,836 --> 01:08:12,670 - Jumping up and down. 1672 01:08:12,770 --> 01:08:13,938 That's it? - Bounce higher! 1673 01:08:14,038 --> 01:08:16,373 Jump towards your destiny! - Yeah, just hold the form. 1674 01:08:16,473 --> 01:08:18,308 - What are you doing with your arms, you weirdo. 1675 01:08:18,408 --> 01:08:19,711 - You need to catch up. 1676 01:08:19,811 --> 01:08:21,879 Right. - Two, three. 1677 01:08:21,980 --> 01:08:22,780 Left arm. 1678 01:08:25,115 --> 01:08:26,751 Left. 1679 01:08:32,389 --> 01:08:33,457 Alright. - Okay. 1680 01:08:33,558 --> 01:08:34,659 - Exhale, exhale. 1681 01:08:34,759 --> 01:08:35,927 - Should we go get a green juice now? 1682 01:08:36,027 --> 01:08:36,794 - Yes. 1683 01:08:38,228 --> 01:08:39,496 - All right. 1684 01:08:39,597 --> 01:08:42,299 - There's a place called Godly, Texas. 1685 01:08:42,399 --> 01:08:43,467 - Godly. - Yeah. 1686 01:08:43,568 --> 01:08:45,069 Don't bother remembering it. 1687 01:08:45,168 --> 01:08:47,170 I don't know if it had more churches or bars. 1688 01:08:47,270 --> 01:08:48,205 So you figure that one out. 1689 01:08:48,305 --> 01:08:50,608 - Wow, sounds eventful. 1690 01:08:50,708 --> 01:08:51,643 - It wasn't. 1691 01:08:53,111 --> 01:08:54,746 We played a lot of Scrabble. 1692 01:08:55,780 --> 01:08:58,883 Sonia's mom secretly fed me cheesecake. 1693 01:08:58,983 --> 01:09:00,084 - Okay, you need to tell her 1694 01:09:00,183 --> 01:09:01,753 that you want to eat dairy again. 1695 01:09:01,853 --> 01:09:02,954 This is ridiculous. 1696 01:09:03,054 --> 01:09:04,055 - She reads one article on how dairy 1697 01:09:04,154 --> 01:09:05,089 can affect fertility, 1698 01:09:05,188 --> 01:09:07,692 and it's like ruined my life forever. 1699 01:09:11,029 --> 01:09:12,295 - Do you think I'm stuck? 1700 01:09:13,765 --> 01:09:15,265 - What do you mean? 1701 01:09:15,365 --> 01:09:17,001 - It feels like I don't know where to go from here. 1702 01:09:17,101 --> 01:09:20,104 It's like all my options feel wrong. 1703 01:09:20,203 --> 01:09:21,204 - Okay. 1704 01:09:22,472 --> 01:09:23,306 I see. 1705 01:09:25,242 --> 01:09:27,210 Remember when I found out you were gay? 1706 01:09:28,513 --> 01:09:29,113 - I do. 1707 01:09:29,212 --> 01:09:32,215 - Got so drunk in my dorm room. 1708 01:09:32,315 --> 01:09:33,316 - Yeah, we were listening 1709 01:09:33,417 --> 01:09:35,285 to that Regina Spektor album non-stop. 1710 01:09:35,385 --> 01:09:38,122 - And that bitch Amanda kept barging in on us. 1711 01:09:38,221 --> 01:09:39,957 - It was her dorm, too. 1712 01:09:40,058 --> 01:09:40,958 - And it was the last song came on. 1713 01:09:41,059 --> 01:09:43,594 What was it? - Summer in the City. 1714 01:09:43,695 --> 01:09:45,228 - Yes, fuck that's a way to end an album. 1715 01:09:45,328 --> 01:09:46,564 - The best. 1716 01:09:47,832 --> 01:09:50,768 - Anyways, we were both lying in my bed, bawling. 1717 01:09:50,868 --> 01:09:53,071 But when the song was over, 1718 01:09:53,171 --> 01:09:55,238 I wiped away my tears, but you kept crying. 1719 01:09:55,338 --> 01:09:57,075 - Duh. 1720 01:09:57,175 --> 01:09:57,809 - And I knew. 1721 01:09:59,110 --> 01:10:00,243 I mean, I've always known. - Alright. 1722 01:10:00,343 --> 01:10:01,411 - I knew since I met you, 1723 01:10:01,512 --> 01:10:02,747 freshman year. - Alright, alright. 1724 01:10:02,847 --> 01:10:04,849 - I didn't understand why you wouldn't tell me 1725 01:10:04,949 --> 01:10:07,484 why you kept choosing to stay alone with that. 1726 01:10:08,853 --> 01:10:10,253 You were stuck! 1727 01:10:10,353 --> 01:10:12,123 - I was stuck! 1728 01:10:12,222 --> 01:10:13,725 - So I gave you a little push. 1729 01:10:13,825 --> 01:10:16,426 - No, I believe your exact wordage was, 1730 01:10:16,527 --> 01:10:18,529 "You like dick, don't you?" 1731 01:10:18,629 --> 01:10:20,098 - Yeah, I didn't get where I am by being subtle. 1732 01:10:20,198 --> 01:10:21,532 - No, you did not. 1733 01:10:26,204 --> 01:10:27,370 So you never told me how 1734 01:10:27,471 --> 01:10:29,774 the doctor's appointment went in Denver. 1735 01:10:29,874 --> 01:10:31,274 - You never asked. 1736 01:10:31,374 --> 01:10:34,311 - Yeah, well I was waiting for you to say something. 1737 01:10:34,411 --> 01:10:35,378 - Okay, fair enough. 1738 01:10:36,514 --> 01:10:39,150 I'm not hopeless, yay! 1739 01:10:39,249 --> 01:10:41,251 - Hey, that's amazing. 1740 01:10:41,351 --> 01:10:43,320 It's great. 1741 01:10:43,420 --> 01:10:45,857 - Yeah, just a massive expense, 1742 01:10:45,957 --> 01:10:48,126 and we're already starting the storefront 1743 01:10:48,226 --> 01:10:49,426 for Sonia's bakery. 1744 01:10:52,697 --> 01:10:54,732 I just want that experience. 1745 01:10:56,399 --> 01:10:58,035 I want to carry a child. 1746 01:10:59,170 --> 01:11:00,605 It's ridiculous, I know. 1747 01:11:00,705 --> 01:11:02,607 I just- - It's not ridiculous. 1748 01:11:02,707 --> 01:11:03,775 - Of course you don't think so. 1749 01:11:03,875 --> 01:11:05,777 You're three shades crazier than me. 1750 01:11:07,377 --> 01:11:09,013 - At least we always had each other. 1751 01:11:11,949 --> 01:11:13,818 What? What now? 1752 01:11:14,886 --> 01:11:16,154 - So I'm just, I'm gonna have to say it? 1753 01:11:16,254 --> 01:11:16,888 - Say what? 1754 01:11:19,123 --> 01:11:20,625 - Thomas. 1755 01:11:20,725 --> 01:11:23,360 You want a baby! 1756 01:11:24,461 --> 01:11:25,730 You want to go to the park, 1757 01:11:25,830 --> 01:11:28,365 carry a baby around like a little kangaroo, 1758 01:11:28,465 --> 01:11:31,068 and you want to teach it to be as kind, 1759 01:11:31,169 --> 01:11:34,304 as generous, and as curious as you. 1760 01:11:35,305 --> 01:11:36,908 You want to wake up in the morning 1761 01:11:37,008 --> 01:11:39,811 and squeeze its fat little baby cheeks. 1762 01:11:41,512 --> 01:11:44,515 Thomas, you want to look back on your life 1763 01:11:44,615 --> 01:11:47,317 and know that you fought when things got hard. 1764 01:11:48,986 --> 01:11:50,021 If you want to stay stuck, 1765 01:11:50,121 --> 01:11:51,823 that's your own damn fault, so. 1766 01:11:57,028 --> 01:11:58,963 Oh, you're gonna carry me home like a baby? 1767 01:12:00,463 --> 01:12:01,899 - We're gonna put a baby in there. 1768 01:12:01,999 --> 01:12:04,569 I mean, I'm not going to. - No, no ew! Ew, ew! 1769 01:12:04,669 --> 01:12:06,403 - In the worst case scenario, I could. 1770 01:12:06,503 --> 01:12:09,073 - Yeah, with a turkey baster. 1771 01:12:10,708 --> 01:12:12,710 - I'm so glad to see you're on the mend. 1772 01:12:12,810 --> 01:12:13,744 - Yeah, yeah. 1773 01:12:13,845 --> 01:12:15,412 That physical therapy has really helped. 1774 01:12:15,513 --> 01:12:18,549 And these babies are life changing. 1775 01:12:18,649 --> 01:12:21,085 - Yes, they look very comfortable. 1776 01:12:21,185 --> 01:12:21,853 - They are. 1777 01:12:23,353 --> 01:12:25,790 So, what did you want to talk about? 1778 01:12:25,890 --> 01:12:26,991 - Is Arthur good? 1779 01:12:27,091 --> 01:12:27,859 How is he doing? 1780 01:12:27,959 --> 01:12:29,492 - Really well. 1781 01:12:29,594 --> 01:12:30,761 Sorry, I know that's not what you want to hear. 1782 01:12:30,862 --> 01:12:34,464 - No, no, it's exactly what I want to hear. 1783 01:12:35,299 --> 01:12:36,033 For real. 1784 01:12:36,133 --> 01:12:37,935 I'm ready to move on. 1785 01:12:39,203 --> 01:12:40,071 - Have you thought any more 1786 01:12:40,171 --> 01:12:41,305 about taking on another child? 1787 01:12:41,404 --> 01:12:43,507 - Girl, I have thought about everything. 1788 01:12:44,675 --> 01:12:48,112 I had this idea of what my life 1789 01:12:48,212 --> 01:12:49,379 was gonna look like, right? 1790 01:12:49,479 --> 01:12:53,150 And then it changed. 1791 01:12:53,251 --> 01:12:54,852 It's all very disorientating. 1792 01:12:57,420 --> 01:13:00,157 I'm supposed to move to Michigan in January. 1793 01:13:00,258 --> 01:13:03,861 - That sounds lovely. - Yeah. 1794 01:13:03,961 --> 01:13:06,631 Yeah, it should be, shouldn't it? Hm. 1795 01:13:07,899 --> 01:13:10,835 Can I ask you a personal question? 1796 01:13:12,169 --> 01:13:15,106 - Well, I think we've moved past this formality, so yes. 1797 01:13:15,206 --> 01:13:17,174 - How did you get into this? 1798 01:13:17,275 --> 01:13:19,810 This line of work. 1799 01:13:19,911 --> 01:13:21,312 And why? 1800 01:13:21,411 --> 01:13:24,515 - Um, I was married very young, 1801 01:13:24,615 --> 01:13:27,518 and then when we tried to start our own family, 1802 01:13:27,618 --> 01:13:30,755 I had several miscarriages. 1803 01:13:30,855 --> 01:13:31,956 - I'm sorry. - And you know, 1804 01:13:32,056 --> 01:13:33,524 most women do not talk about that openly, 1805 01:13:33,624 --> 01:13:36,594 but disappointment really took its toll on me. 1806 01:13:36,694 --> 01:13:39,530 And my relationship, and you know. 1807 01:13:39,630 --> 01:13:41,132 So you can probably guess where that ends. 1808 01:13:41,232 --> 01:13:44,735 But anyway, when I realized that I wasn't gonna have 1809 01:13:44,835 --> 01:13:46,637 the family that I had envisioned, 1810 01:13:46,737 --> 01:13:49,507 I set out to make do. 1811 01:13:49,607 --> 01:13:51,976 And this is me making do. 1812 01:13:52,076 --> 01:13:55,713 I get to help other people create families. 1813 01:13:55,813 --> 01:13:58,115 Yeah, we learn to do the best with what we have. 1814 01:14:01,519 --> 01:14:03,054 - Thank you again for meeting me. 1815 01:14:03,154 --> 01:14:03,854 - Of course. 1816 01:14:05,022 --> 01:14:08,659 - I hope you know that I really am happy 1817 01:14:08,759 --> 01:14:10,294 that Arthur is with his mom. 1818 01:14:10,394 --> 01:14:11,762 Like, for real. 1819 01:14:11,862 --> 01:14:13,030 - I know. 1820 01:14:13,130 --> 01:14:16,133 And I hope that you find what you're looking for, Thomas. 1821 01:14:16,233 --> 01:14:16,867 - Me too. 1822 01:14:23,074 --> 01:14:26,344 You know, when I made this appointment today, 1823 01:14:26,444 --> 01:14:28,646 I was a little worried 1824 01:14:28,746 --> 01:14:31,615 that I may not be brave enough 1825 01:14:31,716 --> 01:14:33,851 to go at this alone. 1826 01:14:33,951 --> 01:14:37,288 - It has nothing to do with bravery. 1827 01:14:37,388 --> 01:14:38,556 - Right. 1828 01:14:38,656 --> 01:14:39,857 - Can I put your name back on that list? 1829 01:15:30,908 --> 01:15:31,909 - No, no! 1830 01:15:35,946 --> 01:15:37,381 Babe. 1831 01:15:37,481 --> 01:15:39,617 Tell me this is a bad joke. 1832 01:15:39,717 --> 01:15:41,752 What happened to the lakefront rental? 1833 01:15:41,852 --> 01:15:44,622 - Babe, the other place had no charm. 1834 01:15:45,556 --> 01:15:46,490 - And? 1835 01:15:46,590 --> 01:15:48,893 - And it had bed bugs. 1836 01:15:51,862 --> 01:15:52,730 - I swear to God. - I know. 1837 01:15:52,830 --> 01:15:54,533 - Will you please shut up. 1838 01:15:59,437 --> 01:16:00,938 It's been a minute. 1839 01:16:01,038 --> 01:16:02,339 That's hard. 1840 01:16:02,440 --> 01:16:03,240 Wait a second. 1841 01:16:03,340 --> 01:16:04,175 No, no, get out, get out. 1842 01:16:04,275 --> 01:16:06,077 - Okay okay. - Okay fine. 1843 01:16:08,813 --> 01:16:10,047 - That's what happens when you go to Michigan. 1844 01:16:11,282 --> 01:16:11,916 Okay. 1845 01:16:19,757 --> 01:16:21,592 - Oh my God, my leg's cramping. 1846 01:16:21,692 --> 01:16:23,094 Get up, get up, get up. 1847 01:16:25,329 --> 01:16:27,098 Charlie horse, cramp. 1848 01:16:27,198 --> 01:16:27,932 - I think we should stop. 1849 01:16:28,032 --> 01:16:30,101 There's something going on. 1850 01:16:30,201 --> 01:16:30,901 - I'm sorry. 1851 01:16:48,953 --> 01:16:50,621 Five years into being married, 1852 01:16:50,721 --> 01:16:53,324 and you have no idea your husband reads tabloids. 1853 01:16:54,526 --> 01:16:55,527 - You want the latest issue? 1854 01:16:55,626 --> 01:16:57,261 - What? No. 1855 01:16:57,361 --> 01:16:59,897 Do you have a subscription, or something? 1856 01:16:59,997 --> 01:17:02,601 - No, my publicist sends them to me. 1857 01:17:02,700 --> 01:17:04,168 - Oh, your publicist. - Yeah. 1858 01:17:04,268 --> 01:17:05,669 - We have a publicist now. 1859 01:17:05,769 --> 01:17:07,506 - Yes, you know about her. 1860 01:17:07,606 --> 01:17:08,906 You know, Valerie. 1861 01:17:09,006 --> 01:17:11,408 My agent connected us once I got the gig. 1862 01:17:12,611 --> 01:17:14,912 Here on Lake Lies, you know that. 1863 01:17:15,746 --> 01:17:17,882 - Hmm, I don't know her. 1864 01:17:40,738 --> 01:17:42,006 I have something to tell you. 1865 01:17:43,407 --> 01:17:44,241 - Yeah? 1866 01:17:45,409 --> 01:17:48,913 - I put my name back on a list 1867 01:17:50,414 --> 01:17:51,215 for fostering. 1868 01:17:54,553 --> 01:17:55,386 - What have you done? 1869 01:17:57,454 --> 01:17:58,222 - Hey. 1870 01:18:01,458 --> 01:18:02,293 Come on. 1871 01:18:03,628 --> 01:18:05,296 This is the best thing for me. 1872 01:18:07,298 --> 01:18:08,533 - For you. 1873 01:18:08,633 --> 01:18:10,868 - I have this whole speech 1874 01:18:10,968 --> 01:18:13,337 about how we can make this work together. 1875 01:18:13,437 --> 01:18:15,706 - I don't think I can be more clear with you. 1876 01:18:15,806 --> 01:18:17,808 - Look, I know what you said, alright? 1877 01:18:19,009 --> 01:18:20,911 It's just we were happy before, 1878 01:18:21,011 --> 01:18:22,379 and we can be happy again, 1879 01:18:22,479 --> 01:18:23,847 if we- - Stop! 1880 01:18:23,948 --> 01:18:25,049 I don't want another kid, 1881 01:18:25,149 --> 01:18:27,885 because I like the way my life is now. 1882 01:18:27,985 --> 01:18:29,119 I don't need a kid to fill a void, 1883 01:18:29,220 --> 01:18:31,789 because my life feels whole, with you. 1884 01:18:32,657 --> 01:18:33,490 I don't- 1885 01:18:35,359 --> 01:18:37,895 I don't know what else to tell you, Thomas. 1886 01:18:37,995 --> 01:18:39,496 Am I not enough for you, is that it? 1887 01:18:41,666 --> 01:18:43,167 - You know what, I don't know. 1888 01:18:44,603 --> 01:18:46,837 - You're making such a mess of things, you know that? 1889 01:18:46,937 --> 01:18:49,173 Why can't we build a life around what we have? 1890 01:18:49,273 --> 01:18:51,909 - I wish we could. 1891 01:18:52,009 --> 01:18:55,246 I do, it would certainly make everything a lot easier. 1892 01:18:55,346 --> 01:18:57,014 - Why don't you? 1893 01:18:57,114 --> 01:19:02,219 - Because I can't. 1894 01:19:03,053 --> 01:19:04,488 I mean, when we got married, 1895 01:19:04,589 --> 01:19:06,123 I had this whole idea 1896 01:19:06,223 --> 01:19:07,791 of what our life was gonna look like, right? 1897 01:19:07,891 --> 01:19:10,794 It was gonna be you and me, forever. 1898 01:19:11,895 --> 01:19:14,231 I never planned on becoming a dad. 1899 01:19:14,331 --> 01:19:16,668 I didn't even know it was possible. 1900 01:19:16,767 --> 01:19:19,937 Suddenly, I could be gay, 1901 01:19:20,804 --> 01:19:23,374 be married, and be a father? 1902 01:19:26,110 --> 01:19:28,713 It used to be being gay only meant one thing. 1903 01:19:28,812 --> 01:19:31,248 And now, it can be anything. 1904 01:19:33,652 --> 01:19:34,885 But I can't go back. 1905 01:19:34,985 --> 01:19:36,521 I wish I could. I thought I could. 1906 01:19:36,621 --> 01:19:38,789 But I can't. 1907 01:19:40,625 --> 01:19:42,126 And I'd always regret it. 1908 01:19:42,226 --> 01:19:44,495 I'm pretty sure you would, too. 1909 01:19:44,596 --> 01:19:46,030 And I'm sorry. 1910 01:19:48,633 --> 01:19:49,967 But I'd never be happy. 1911 01:19:50,067 --> 01:19:51,368 I mean, not really. 1912 01:20:00,010 --> 01:20:01,945 - I don't know what else to tell you. 1913 01:20:02,980 --> 01:20:04,481 What is it you want? 1914 01:20:04,582 --> 01:20:06,116 - I don't know. 1915 01:20:06,216 --> 01:20:08,753 It just feels like sand is slipping between my fingers, 1916 01:20:08,852 --> 01:20:12,791 and honestly, I wish there wasn't an urgency to all of this, 1917 01:20:12,890 --> 01:20:14,925 but it feels like it's now or never. 1918 01:20:16,561 --> 01:20:17,494 - Is having a kid 1919 01:20:18,929 --> 01:20:20,931 the thing that matters the most to you? 1920 01:20:22,066 --> 01:20:24,435 - I just want to feel like I have options. 1921 01:20:24,536 --> 01:20:27,338 Like I have some sort of say in any of this. 1922 01:20:27,438 --> 01:20:28,606 - Options. 1923 01:20:28,707 --> 01:20:29,973 Are you kidding? 1924 01:20:30,074 --> 01:20:31,509 You have plenty of options. 1925 01:20:31,609 --> 01:20:33,812 I mean, you're so privileged, 1926 01:20:33,911 --> 01:20:36,013 you don't even realize that you can stand there 1927 01:20:36,113 --> 01:20:37,881 and agonize over all of this. 1928 01:20:37,981 --> 01:20:40,150 - Let's not forget that it was you 1929 01:20:40,250 --> 01:20:42,520 who decided that kids were off the table. 1930 01:20:42,620 --> 01:20:43,788 - That's not true. 1931 01:20:43,887 --> 01:20:45,489 - It is. - That is not true! 1932 01:20:45,590 --> 01:20:47,391 You and I decided this. 1933 01:20:47,491 --> 01:20:49,059 You were devastated! 1934 01:20:49,159 --> 01:20:50,294 When Arthur went back to his mom. 1935 01:20:50,394 --> 01:20:51,395 - I was! 1936 01:20:52,564 --> 01:20:54,331 I was devastated. 1937 01:20:54,431 --> 01:20:55,165 What about you? 1938 01:20:57,736 --> 01:20:59,771 - I didn't want to go through something like that again 1939 01:20:59,870 --> 01:21:00,971 and lose you. 1940 01:21:02,973 --> 01:21:04,308 - Yeah, well, I- 1941 01:21:07,311 --> 01:21:08,946 I feel like I already lost you. 1942 01:21:11,982 --> 01:21:13,585 I do. And I'm sorry. 1943 01:21:17,921 --> 01:21:19,957 Maybe we just want different things. 1944 01:21:21,793 --> 01:21:23,026 - How can you say that to me? 1945 01:21:27,998 --> 01:21:29,933 - I feel like I need to have a choice. 1946 01:22:05,402 --> 01:22:07,672 You know, I've loved that song my whole life. 1947 01:22:09,139 --> 01:22:10,941 I have no idea what it's about. 1948 01:22:12,142 --> 01:22:15,979 - I think it's a song about yearning, 1949 01:22:16,079 --> 01:22:18,449 or longing for something, 1950 01:22:18,550 --> 01:22:20,951 and never quite knowing what that is. 1951 01:22:24,923 --> 01:22:26,691 Either way, it's a song about love. 1952 01:22:30,562 --> 01:22:31,495 - And loss. 1953 01:22:35,934 --> 01:22:37,067 I need to do this. 1954 01:22:38,068 --> 01:22:38,969 For me. 1955 01:22:41,071 --> 01:22:41,972 - I know. 1956 01:23:15,974 --> 01:23:16,841 - I've been in love 1957 01:23:16,941 --> 01:23:18,943 exactly three times in my life. 1958 01:23:19,042 --> 01:23:20,010 When people say this type of thing, 1959 01:23:20,110 --> 01:23:22,246 it's implied that love is finite. 1960 01:23:23,247 --> 01:23:24,181 First, I loved him. 1961 01:23:25,583 --> 01:23:26,584 Then I loved him. 1962 01:23:27,986 --> 01:23:28,786 Now I love him. 1963 01:23:30,588 --> 01:23:31,421 But love isn't finite. 1964 01:23:32,624 --> 01:23:33,858 It stretches on forever 1965 01:23:33,958 --> 01:23:36,326 like a blanket of stars at nighttime. 1966 01:23:37,862 --> 01:23:39,797 My first love was Sam. 1967 01:23:39,898 --> 01:23:41,398 A journalist I met in college 1968 01:23:41,498 --> 01:23:44,569 who took me to the mountains and made love to me, 1969 01:23:44,669 --> 01:23:45,570 for the first time. 1970 01:23:46,804 --> 01:23:47,705 The morning after, 1971 01:23:47,805 --> 01:23:50,173 as he lay sleeping next to me, 1972 01:23:50,274 --> 01:23:53,511 I said his name over and over like a prayer. 1973 01:23:53,611 --> 01:23:56,781 Sam, Sam, Sam. 1974 01:23:58,148 --> 01:24:00,718 The most ordinary name you've ever heard. 1975 01:24:03,821 --> 01:24:05,188 Years later, when he died 1976 01:24:05,289 --> 01:24:07,625 after a short battle with cancer, 1977 01:24:07,725 --> 01:24:11,029 I wouldn't find out until months after it happened, 1978 01:24:11,161 --> 01:24:14,197 but my love still exists. 1979 01:24:14,298 --> 01:24:16,199 Like a dream from the night before. 1980 01:24:17,835 --> 01:24:19,537 And then, there's Oscar. 1981 01:24:20,370 --> 01:24:21,773 My huckleberry friend. 1982 01:24:23,508 --> 01:24:24,909 My husband. 1983 01:24:25,009 --> 01:24:27,210 I will never take that word for granted. 1984 01:24:29,179 --> 01:24:30,380 And Arthur. 1985 01:24:32,016 --> 01:24:33,785 The son who was never really mine. 1986 01:24:35,152 --> 01:24:36,486 Sometimes when everything falls apart, 1987 01:24:36,588 --> 01:24:40,157 and I think to myself that this can't be all there is, 1988 01:24:40,257 --> 01:24:42,961 I remember a poem I once read, 1989 01:24:43,061 --> 01:24:44,796 telling me what else should I have done. 1990 01:24:46,096 --> 01:24:49,801 Doesn't everything die at last and too soon? 1991 01:24:49,901 --> 01:24:52,302 Tell me, what is it you plan to do 1992 01:24:52,402 --> 01:24:55,673 with your one wild and precious life? 1993 01:24:57,642 --> 01:24:59,242 I don't know what's gonna happen. 1994 01:25:00,745 --> 01:25:03,581 All I do know is that this is never really all there is. 1995 01:25:04,882 --> 01:25:09,119 That possibility of something more is wild. 1996 01:25:09,219 --> 01:25:10,788 And it's precious. 1997 01:25:13,423 --> 01:25:15,860 It's life. 1998 01:25:26,470 --> 01:25:28,039 - Hate to break it to you. 1999 01:25:28,138 --> 01:25:29,172 They're all fake. 2000 01:25:29,272 --> 01:25:30,374 - Really? - Mm-hmm. 2001 01:25:30,474 --> 01:25:31,843 - What is wrong with people? 2002 01:25:31,943 --> 01:25:32,710 Why? 2003 01:25:32,810 --> 01:25:34,144 - Alcohol is real, though. 2004 01:25:34,244 --> 01:25:35,847 - Cheers. 2005 01:25:35,947 --> 01:25:37,882 - Cheers. 2006 01:25:37,982 --> 01:25:38,916 How are you doing? 2007 01:25:40,217 --> 01:25:42,520 - Ugh, why did I let you drag me here? 2008 01:25:42,620 --> 01:25:44,689 - I think we told you there would be a lot of food. 2009 01:25:44,789 --> 01:25:46,524 - Okay but, really? 2010 01:25:46,624 --> 01:25:49,661 I forget that your idea of food is questionable. 2011 01:25:49,761 --> 01:25:51,261 Like, what is this? 2012 01:25:51,361 --> 01:25:52,462 - Shut your pretty little mouth. 2013 01:25:52,563 --> 01:25:53,497 - Stop. 2014 01:25:53,598 --> 01:25:54,966 - I thought you loved New Years Eve. 2015 01:25:55,066 --> 01:25:56,266 - I do in the movies. 2016 01:25:56,366 --> 01:26:00,071 It's like, all tearful reconciliations, 2017 01:26:00,170 --> 01:26:02,707 and Auld Lang Sin. 2018 01:26:02,807 --> 01:26:03,808 Syne, it's Syne, isn't it? 2019 01:26:03,908 --> 01:26:05,810 - It's Syne, girl, it's Syne. 2020 01:26:05,910 --> 01:26:07,344 - Fight club. 2021 01:26:07,444 --> 01:26:08,846 Lesbian fight club. 2022 01:26:08,946 --> 01:26:10,380 Lesbian fight club! 2023 01:26:10,480 --> 01:26:11,716 Lesbian fight club! - This feels different. 2024 01:26:11,816 --> 01:26:13,051 - Lesbian fight club! - This just feels different. 2025 01:26:13,151 --> 01:26:14,952 - Just shut it down! 2026 01:26:15,053 --> 01:26:16,253 - Hey honey, how are you holding up? 2027 01:26:16,353 --> 01:26:17,487 - I'm okay, I'm fine. 2028 01:26:17,588 --> 01:26:18,388 - It's the food, isn't it? 2029 01:26:18,488 --> 01:26:19,757 - No, baby, no, it's good. 2030 01:26:19,857 --> 01:26:21,224 - Okay, okay. 2031 01:26:21,324 --> 01:26:22,392 Remind me, I've got something for you later. 2032 01:26:22,492 --> 01:26:23,528 It's from the shop. 2033 01:26:23,628 --> 01:26:24,394 It's brownies, it's all butter. 2034 01:26:24,494 --> 01:26:26,731 Jules, keep your shirt on! 2035 01:26:26,831 --> 01:26:27,532 - I'm gonna go. 2036 01:26:27,632 --> 01:26:29,299 - Wait, no no no. - It's fine. 2037 01:26:29,399 --> 01:26:30,134 - It's not even midnight yet. 2038 01:26:30,233 --> 01:26:31,334 I have no service. 2039 01:26:31,435 --> 01:26:32,770 - By the time that I call a car and it gets here, 2040 01:26:32,870 --> 01:26:33,403 it will be. 2041 01:26:33,503 --> 01:26:34,504 So like, I'll kinda be here. 2042 01:26:34,605 --> 01:26:35,740 - Wait, you're gonna be alone on New Years? 2043 01:26:35,840 --> 01:26:36,941 That's a big bummer. 2044 01:26:37,041 --> 01:26:39,242 - Girl, just enjoy your night, okay? 2045 01:26:41,344 --> 01:26:43,648 Love you. - I love you too. 2046 01:26:43,748 --> 01:26:44,816 Get home safe. 2047 01:26:53,691 --> 01:26:54,525 - Gross. 2048 01:27:05,136 --> 01:27:05,803 No. 2049 01:27:06,871 --> 01:27:07,705 No no no. 2050 01:27:46,343 --> 01:27:47,377 Hey, hey. 2051 01:27:48,579 --> 01:27:50,347 - Oh my God! 2052 01:27:50,447 --> 01:27:52,049 - Hey, I just- - Hey. 2053 01:27:52,150 --> 01:27:53,518 - I had a missed call from Laura, 2054 01:27:53,618 --> 01:27:56,621 and a voicemail, Laura my social worker. 2055 01:27:56,721 --> 01:27:59,857 - 11, 10, 9. - There's a baby. 2056 01:27:59,957 --> 01:28:02,292 There's a baby, she's just a few months old, 2057 01:28:02,392 --> 01:28:05,563 and she's mine. - Five, four, three. 2058 01:28:05,663 --> 01:28:06,597 - Like, mine if I want her. 2059 01:28:06,697 --> 01:28:07,532 Like totally mine. - Two, one. 2060 01:28:07,632 --> 01:28:09,534 - No one else's. 2061 01:28:09,634 --> 01:28:14,672 I'm gonna be a dad. 2062 01:28:42,465 --> 01:28:45,102 - So this is her, huh? 2063 01:28:45,203 --> 01:28:45,837 - It is. 2064 01:28:48,371 --> 01:28:49,540 - Does she have a name? 2065 01:28:49,640 --> 01:28:51,441 - She was left at the fire station. 2066 01:28:51,542 --> 01:28:53,077 No note, no name. 2067 01:28:53,177 --> 01:28:54,545 We've been calling her Eve, 2068 01:28:54,645 --> 01:28:56,581 since she was found on New Years Eve. 2069 01:28:56,681 --> 01:28:58,883 I know that is very corny, but. 2070 01:28:58,983 --> 01:29:00,618 - No, it's perfect. 2071 01:29:00,718 --> 01:29:01,819 - Well when I got word, 2072 01:29:01,919 --> 01:29:03,788 I knew exactly who she should be with. 2073 01:29:06,724 --> 01:29:08,693 - And what about her family? 2074 01:29:08,793 --> 01:29:09,894 - Well, with safe haven babies, 2075 01:29:09,994 --> 01:29:11,529 the parents renounce all their rights. 2076 01:29:11,629 --> 01:29:14,665 So you can get immediately to the adoption process, 2077 01:29:14,765 --> 01:29:17,568 and she will be legally yours in a few months. 2078 01:29:18,836 --> 01:29:21,873 - The fact that Oscar and I are separated is... 2079 01:29:21,973 --> 01:29:23,708 - Won't be an issue. 2080 01:29:23,808 --> 01:29:25,142 - No? 2081 01:29:25,243 --> 01:29:26,476 - You're gonna be great. 2082 01:29:30,447 --> 01:29:31,816 - Okay, poll time. 2083 01:29:31,916 --> 01:29:34,218 Paul thinks I should sell my nudes online. 2084 01:29:34,318 --> 01:29:35,152 Yea or nay? 2085 01:29:35,253 --> 01:29:36,486 - Jamie. - What? 2086 01:29:36,587 --> 01:29:38,189 - You're holding the baby. 2087 01:29:38,289 --> 01:29:39,456 - So? - That's okay. 2088 01:29:39,557 --> 01:29:40,558 She doesn't understand what he's saying. 2089 01:29:40,658 --> 01:29:41,792 I barely do. - Oh. 2090 01:29:41,893 --> 01:29:43,294 Well in that case, I'm all for it, Jamie. 2091 01:29:43,393 --> 01:29:45,062 - Wow, of course you are. 2092 01:29:45,162 --> 01:29:46,130 - What does that mean? 2093 01:29:46,230 --> 01:29:47,865 - It just means that I'm pro sex work 2094 01:29:47,965 --> 01:29:49,066 and all that stuff, 2095 01:29:49,166 --> 01:29:50,301 and this one is stuck in the dark ages of feminism. 2096 01:29:50,400 --> 01:29:52,003 - It's exploitation! 2097 01:29:52,103 --> 01:29:53,371 - No, okay yes. 2098 01:29:53,470 --> 01:29:55,273 Yes, in traditional porn and sex work, 2099 01:29:55,373 --> 01:29:56,807 it was exploited. 2100 01:29:56,908 --> 01:29:58,609 But how are these new platforms the same thing? 2101 01:29:58,709 --> 01:30:01,779 - Oh my God, it is the commodification of women's bodies! 2102 01:30:03,047 --> 01:30:04,749 - Just a reminder. - They have agency, babe. 2103 01:30:04,849 --> 01:30:06,617 - I'm not a woman. - Not yet, girl. 2104 01:30:06,717 --> 01:30:09,820 - How can we be expected to make progress 2105 01:30:09,921 --> 01:30:13,456 when women are expected to pedal their bodies for money? 2106 01:30:13,557 --> 01:30:15,293 - I will tell you how we can make progress. 2107 01:30:15,393 --> 01:30:16,661 - Tell me. - Like I always tell you. 2108 01:30:16,761 --> 01:30:17,995 - Oh my- - Okay, you know what? 2109 01:30:18,095 --> 01:30:19,030 I changed my mind. 2110 01:30:19,130 --> 01:30:21,299 Let's actually just not with the porn talk, 2111 01:30:21,399 --> 01:30:22,499 'cause baby. 2112 01:30:22,600 --> 01:30:24,535 - Okay, I'm sorry Thomas. 2113 01:30:24,635 --> 01:30:26,237 But this is the future of feminism. 2114 01:30:26,337 --> 01:30:27,204 This is how it is. 2115 01:30:27,305 --> 01:30:28,005 - So what's the consensus? 2116 01:30:28,105 --> 01:30:29,840 Yes, no, maybe so? 2117 01:30:29,941 --> 01:30:31,609 Okay, we'll circle back another day. 2118 01:30:31,709 --> 01:30:33,511 By the way, have anyone here 2119 01:30:33,611 --> 01:30:34,845 seen Britney's latest video? 2120 01:30:34,946 --> 01:30:36,446 - She's not sending you secret messages. 2121 01:30:36,547 --> 01:30:38,049 - She is! - She's not. 2122 01:30:38,149 --> 01:30:39,850 - What's going on with you? 2123 01:30:41,118 --> 01:30:42,620 - Nothing, mother. 2124 01:30:42,720 --> 01:30:44,822 I'm in a great mood. 2125 01:30:44,922 --> 01:30:46,857 Nothing's changed, and I'm glad about it. 2126 01:30:48,159 --> 01:30:49,360 - Jamie's holding a baby. 2127 01:30:49,459 --> 01:30:51,529 Everything's changed. 2128 01:30:51,629 --> 01:30:52,797 - I mean, give it a week, though. 2129 01:30:52,897 --> 01:30:54,464 - Have you called Oscar yet? 2130 01:30:55,666 --> 01:30:57,335 - Okay, we're done here. - Oh, okay. 2131 01:30:58,636 --> 01:30:59,403 - Oh you're taking the baby 2132 01:30:59,502 --> 01:31:00,237 so nobody slaps you. 2133 01:31:00,338 --> 01:31:02,106 - No, no, hey. 2134 01:31:02,206 --> 01:31:03,374 - Thomas! 2135 01:31:03,473 --> 01:31:05,743 - No, yes. 2136 01:31:05,843 --> 01:31:07,445 Shh, the baby is sleeping. 2137 01:31:07,545 --> 01:31:10,748 - No, the baby is not sleeping, dingbat. 2138 01:31:10,848 --> 01:31:13,250 You have to tell Oscar you have a baby! 2139 01:31:13,351 --> 01:31:14,218 - Okay. 2140 01:31:14,318 --> 01:31:15,653 - You need to tell him now! 2141 01:31:15,753 --> 01:31:17,121 - He will find out, I promise. 2142 01:31:17,221 --> 01:31:20,257 - The longer you wait, the worse this is gonna get. 2143 01:31:20,358 --> 01:31:21,859 - Stop. 2144 01:31:21,959 --> 01:31:23,027 I'll tell him. 2145 01:31:23,127 --> 01:31:24,028 - Better. 2146 01:31:24,128 --> 01:31:25,296 Give me the baby, I need to practice. 2147 01:31:25,396 --> 01:31:26,864 - Coming, she's coming. - Come here. 2148 01:31:30,568 --> 01:31:31,635 - Woo! Woo! 2149 01:31:35,239 --> 01:31:37,541 - You're always taking picture without you in 'em. 2150 01:31:39,210 --> 01:31:39,877 - I'm in them. 2151 01:32:14,513 --> 01:32:15,579 - Oscar. 2152 01:32:17,448 --> 01:32:18,916 You've been on my mind all day. 2153 01:32:21,318 --> 01:32:22,887 Your show came on earlier. 2154 01:32:23,654 --> 01:32:24,889 I heard your voice, 2155 01:32:25,723 --> 01:32:27,792 reaching out across the years. 2156 01:32:29,427 --> 01:32:30,261 And your face. 2157 01:32:32,430 --> 01:32:34,198 So strange, even after all this, 2158 01:32:34,298 --> 01:32:38,502 to remember that you used to be something else, to me, 2159 01:32:38,602 --> 01:32:39,870 before you were mine. 2160 01:32:40,604 --> 01:32:42,773 Life can be so unexpected. 2161 01:32:44,909 --> 01:32:46,811 I sometimes think that the last thought 2162 01:32:46,911 --> 01:32:50,114 to ever cross a person's mind must be, 2163 01:32:50,214 --> 01:32:51,048 "Who would've known?" 2164 01:32:53,751 --> 01:32:55,753 I never expected to marry you, Oscar. 2165 01:32:56,555 --> 01:32:57,621 But it happened. 2166 01:32:59,223 --> 01:33:00,257 And it changed my life. 2167 01:33:01,492 --> 01:33:02,993 It changed my life for the better. 2168 01:33:04,795 --> 01:33:05,996 Because it led me here, 2169 01:33:07,498 --> 01:33:08,165 to this moment, 2170 01:33:09,534 --> 01:33:12,703 where I tell you that I got a baby. 2171 01:33:15,172 --> 01:33:15,873 A daughter. 2172 01:33:17,509 --> 01:33:19,877 Daughter. 2173 01:33:19,977 --> 01:33:22,780 It feels so bittersweet to say that word. 2174 01:33:24,482 --> 01:33:26,183 I know you'll have questions, 2175 01:33:26,283 --> 01:33:28,853 and someday I will be ready to answer them, 2176 01:33:28,953 --> 01:33:33,958 but for now, just know that her name is Eve. 2177 01:33:36,293 --> 01:33:37,128 Evey. 2178 01:33:38,530 --> 01:33:40,532 Know that someday I will tell her 2179 01:33:40,631 --> 01:33:42,266 all about this time. 2180 01:33:43,801 --> 01:33:45,503 And the whole world fell apart, 2181 01:33:45,604 --> 01:33:48,739 and somehow made something so beautiful, 2182 01:33:48,839 --> 01:33:52,009 and unexpected. 2183 01:33:56,847 --> 01:33:58,015 I'll tell her what it meant 2184 01:33:58,115 --> 01:34:00,885 to call you my husband, and have it be true. 2185 01:34:01,986 --> 01:34:04,788 What it meant to call myself her dad, 2186 01:34:04,889 --> 01:34:06,056 and have it be true. 2187 01:34:07,758 --> 01:34:11,028 I'll try to explain to her the power in these words. 2188 01:34:11,128 --> 01:34:15,199 So simple and ordinary, but fought for, fiercely. 2189 01:34:16,767 --> 01:34:19,236 I'll try to explain all of these things. 2190 01:34:21,939 --> 01:34:25,309 There's already a word so perfect and simple 2191 01:34:25,409 --> 01:34:27,912 that encompasses all of this. 2192 01:34:30,147 --> 01:34:30,915 Family. 2193 01:34:48,766 --> 01:34:50,569 Hey. 2194 01:34:50,669 --> 01:34:51,702 Hey. 2195 01:34:56,140 --> 01:34:56,874 Hi. 2196 01:34:57,542 --> 01:34:58,543 Yes. 2197 01:34:58,643 --> 01:35:00,177 Can you see? 2198 01:35:00,277 --> 01:35:01,178 Can you see? 2199 01:35:10,421 --> 01:35:11,255 - Good. 2200 01:35:12,990 --> 01:35:16,628 Hi. 2201 01:36:07,144 --> 01:36:09,480 - I've been waiting for you.